PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti – (Olympic Satire) – A spokeswoman for the Haitian Olympic team has just issued a news release, stating that the country’s Olympic athletes will not be allowed to participate in the Summer Olympics in Tokyo.
Cynthia Vega-Omega, 32, tearfully stated that the reason is due to the fact that the dreaded Caribbean Crude Flu has hit two of the nation's three athletes.
Haitian doctors commented that the Car-Cru, as it is called, is caught from drinking coconut milk from expired coconuts.
The doctors went on to say that since two of the athletes have it, it is 98.3% likely that the third athlete will also catch it.
Car-Cru can be cured, but the individuals who have it, must be quarantined for a period of no less than 2 months.
In happier news from Haiti, the 24th Annual LGBTQ Flamboyant Parade of Rainbow-Chasers will go on as planned.