The Chicago Blackhawks Organization Refuses To Talk About The Zamboni Sex Scandal

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 26 June 2021

image for The Chicago Blackhawks Organization Refuses To Talk About The Zamboni Sex Scandal
The infamous Chicago Blackhawks Zamboni.

CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The National Hockey League's Chicago Blackhawks organization is using the attorney-client privilege clause in order to not have to address the alleged 2019 Zamboni Sex Scandal.

Sports reporter Zorro La Bamba, with The Sports Bet Gazette, uncovered the story that alleges that a former Blackhawks player, identified as Aloysius Bert Cherryberry, allegedly had unprotected sex with a female pretzel vendor on the team’s Zamboni after a game with the Detroit Red Wings, in 2019.

Cherryberry, who is now retired denies the allegation which was reported by pretzel vendor Mindy "The Sizzler" Prittle.

The ex-Blackhawks left winger admitted that he was in fact on top of the Zamboni, but he catergorically denies that he was on top of Miss Prittle.

He then noted that for one thing he is allergic to pretzels and even the smell makes him break out in hives, it causes his lips to turn chartreuse, and he cannot even remember one of the five vowels.

SIDENOTE: Cherryberry’s attorney Ginger Allred, daughter of Gloria Allred is 99.71% certain that she will be able to have the charges dropped on the ‘allergic to pretzels’ factor.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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