Liverpool To Have Anfield Torn Down

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 6 March 2021

image for Liverpool To Have Anfield Torn Down
In happier times when they were winning

It may have been the site of some of the greatest moments in English club football history since 1892, with an astonishing nineteen league titles, but Liverpool's once-impregnable fortress of Anfield no longer strikes fear into the hearts of the opposition as it once did, particularly this season, and the old stadium has been earmarked for demolition.

It's a radical step, but, after Liverpool ended a painful 30-year wait to become last season's Premier League champions, things have gone rather differently this season.

The Reds are usually 'home bankers', with most teams wincing at the thought of a visit to Anfield. Since Christmas, however, Burnley, Brighton & Hove Albion, Manchester City, Everton, and Chelsea have all taken three points from Liverpool, and West Bromwich Albion went home with a creditable draw.

German manager Jürgen Klopp has said he feels the stadium is jinxed, and can't wait for it to be razed to the ground. He's also expressed concerns that 'ghosts of Liverpool's glorious past' haunt Anfield, and have been giving him sleepless nights.

Fans seem to support the move. One lifelong supporter, Steven Wachh, 19, said:

"It's a very old stadium, and the bogs reek of piss."

Reports that Liverpool have asked to groundshare with Merseyside rivals Everton remain as yet unconfirmed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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