Ole Solskjaer rant has no foundation! Ask sore-arse Tour de France bikers!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 9 November 2020

image for Ole Solskjaer rant has no foundation! Ask sore-arse Tour de France bikers!
Reality check Ole, try it for a day and see how your arse feels!

(NOT EDITED) Manchester United footy players are over-paid, pampered, spoilt sportsmen, who live in a 'bubble' that other sportsmen and sportswomen can only dream of. However, their manager, a Norwegian would, if he could, is of the opinion his boys are not treated like human beings!

Dear Ole, ranted on TV about how terrible his boys are treated by the English FA because they had to play 90 minutes of footy on Wednesday, and were asked to perform another 90 minutes on Saturday! Yes footy fans, 90 minutes!!!

Now Jaggedone, an ageing, fanatic mountain bike/racing bike rider, nearly 70, decided to prove how pathetic Solskjaer's rant was and ordered his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) top, non-doped bike reporter, Eddie van de Merkx, to follow bike riders on the Tour de France, Giro de Italia, and the Spanish La Vuelta, to prove that Solskjaer's rant is utter bullshit!

Here are his daily comparisons after three days in the saddle with a sore butt, while United's poopers sat in a luxury private jet from Turkey to Manchester!

United players played 90 minutes, not all of them, only some of them! Leapt in their luxury private jet and, had the next day off!

Tour riders rode over 6 hours, ca. 200 KM, up and down mountains, and slept in their tour bus. Next morning, 09.00 AM, got up, had breakfast, jumped on their bikes, rode another 200 km up and down mountains, had sore bums, sore muscles, and burnt 6000 calories!

United's spoilt footy stars, trained for an hour the next day, had massages, were checked just in case the poor chaps had slight niggles, went home in their Rolls Royces, entered their luxury villas, and then got pampered by their bimbo missus's!

Third day on the Tour: Sore arses, sore muscles, stuffed bellies with carbohydrates, rode another 200 km's, entered their tour bus after burning 6000 calories, had a massage, creamed their butts, slept, 09.00AM next morning, jumped on their bikes again, rode another 200 km's up and down mountains, totally knackered!

United's third day, played 90 minutes footy, Solskjaer complained his boys were on their knees and, the FA were a bunch of inhuman morons!

Meanwhile the Tour boys were on their bikes again, riding through the pain barrier day in day out, and earning peanuts with no Rolls Royces to carry them home!

Jaggedone has proven here what a bunch of 'tossers' modern day pro-footy players are, especially United's, and Solskjaer should GET ON HIS FUCKING BIKE!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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