Tiz The Law Takes Belmont Before Almost Empty Grandstand

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Saturday, 20 June 2020

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Belmont Park, New York. Reporter Woof Blister sends an SOS - Spoof On Sports. Tiz the Law romped home an easy winner in today's Belmont Stakes, the third leg of the Triple Crown, but this year it came first. Instead of returning to the winner's circle to the roar of the usual 90,000 fans, Tiz The Law received his crown of roses before an almost empty house, as fans remain barred from the nations' tracks during the Covid-19 pandemic.

Track announcer, Foghorn Murphy, picked up a megaphone and turned to the grandstand to officially proclaim the winner. High up near the upper row of seats, sat a lone spectator, who had apparently crashed the gate - or probably climbed over it - to be the sole witness among the 90,000 seats.

Scanning the 89,999 empty seats, Murphy, with a voice that could pierce a brick wall, calmly started his announcement, "The winner, my dear Sir, is...."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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