As anybody who has ever rode a racing bike over a long distance will know, getting a red-hot, saddle sore bum belongs to the pleasure!
However, one ageing racing bike rider in Holland, during a marathon 165 km trip, found the ride not so pleasurable, after he took a break to ease his sore rear-end! Having ridden over 85 km on a very hot day, his bum had reached an unbearable temperature. He called out to his younger biker colleague, in desperation, to find a convenient bench where he could cool his red-hot butt. All to no avail, until they spotted a kiddies playground with no kids or parents in sight, and a welcoming empty bench!
Now, local Dutch parents, not quite so paranoid as their British contra-hands, thought it was quite weird that an ageing old fart, with a younger version, dressed in tight latex bike pants, should stop at their playground, especially when the older one whipped off his sweaty top, grabbed his bum cream, and reached down between his rear crack!
Within 5 minutes, a Dutch police van arrived, and bundled the older one into the back, as the parents screamed, "We don't want no paedos around our kiddies!" The younger bike rider stood in amazement, as his partner was driven away to the local police station!
An hour later, the ageing racing bike rider was allowed to leave, after a police doctor inspected, and confirmed, the fact that he had a 'red-hot rear-end', wasn't a registered paedophile, and that the younger one was his son; phew! They were allowed to continue their marathon.
The kiddies playground is now out of bounds for ageing racing bike riders dressed in tight latex pants, with sore bums needing a quick greasy fix!