Cricket Star Overlooked By Selectors Again

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 10 November 2019

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Not even two Gillgrass Shield medals were enough to gain inclusion in the Test squad

A man who considered himself one of the best all-rounders in English cricket, has been left disappointed again, after having been ignored once again by the selectors for England's tour of New Zealand.

Moys Kenwood, 56, was, whilst playing for Wold Junior High School in the mid-1970s when he was 11 and 12 years old, primarily a right-hand, over-the-wicket bowler who could adapt his action in a variety of ways, being able to send down deliveries in the styles of Chris Old, Mike Procter, John Snow, and Bob Willis.

But his talents did not end there.

Kenwood was also 'a bit handy' with the bat, and regularly got into double figures when batting in the middle order at number six or seven. Kenwood's cricket team manager, teacher, Mr Norton, said:

"He was a useful lad to have come in around the middle order. He used to have his own bat, pads and gloves, which was a plus."

In the field, he took many a finger-burning catch at mid-off, and had a superb throwing arm, which was - more than once - responsible for a run-out.

Despite this, he has never figured in the England selectors' reckonings, they plumping, instead, for 'stars' such as Tony Greig, Paul Collingwood, Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff, Ben Stokes and Sir Ian Botham. Kenwood said:

"I thought my two successes in the Gillgrass Shield in 1973 and 1974 might have secured me a place in the squad, but I now have to face the reality that I'm probably never going to get a chance to tour."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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