Raptor Win, "Magic" Hiring Silences San Francisco Sports Writers

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Friday, 31 May 2019

Scotiabank Arena, Toronto. The Raptors dominating win over the Golden State Warriors in game one of the NBA finals left Bay Area sports editors unable to comprehend or explain why Magic Johnson had been hired as an advisor to Warrior coach Steve Kerr.

When asked after the loss to comment on Magic's hiring, long-time sports editor Art Cone of the once great San Francisco Tribune, which is now only a throwaway, simply tweeted: "Please don't ask me about Johnson again."

Was Magic, who was not even on the bench during game one, responsible for the 11-point loss suffered by the Warriors? How else to explain the defeat of an obviously demoralized band of Warriors who struggled throughout the contest?

Rumor has it that Johnson won't even be in the arena for game two, a decision made by Kerr in an effort to end the malaise that weakened his team Thursday night.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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