Buffalo Bills To Spend Summer Vacation Relaxing

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 21 March 2019

image for Buffalo Bills To Spend Summer Vacation Relaxing
The Bills discussing their summer plans

The Buffalo Bills have announced that the whole roster of Bills players will be spending from now until the start of next season in 'relaxation mode'.

The Bills finished in second place in the AFC East last semester, but have resisted the urge to have players report for training, reasoning, instead, that time spent doing things they enjoy, would be a better use of their time.

With this in mind, Quarterback, Josh Allen, has retired to his Alaskan log cabin with half-a-million matches to set about constructing a model of the battleship Potemkin.

Linebacker, Tremaine Edmunds, has decided to catch up on his reading, including 'Becoming' by Michelle Obama, whilst Running Back, LeSean McCoy, is to travel to Lake Erie to indulge his penchant for birdwatching. He particularly wants to spot the graceful Trumpeter Swans.

Wide Receivers, Zay Jones and D'haquille Williams, are to team up and go to Florida to collect wild flowers for their pressed collections, and Cornerback, Tre'Davious White, plans to enhance his already-vast stamp collection.

Steven Hauschka, the placekicker, has decided to do what he does best: he will spend 12 hours of each and every day, from 8am until 8pm, kicking footballs into a huge framed net in his garden, in order to perfect his art.

Several members of the defensive unit plan to get together at one or other of their homes to spend the entire summer watching porn films.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more