BILLINGSGATE POST: Today, Slim Everdingle, spokesperson for the NFL, announced that the pending wife-swap between New England Patriots' Tom Brady and Coach Bill Belichick did not meet league rules governing such trades.
Citing "technical difficulties," Everdingle told the stunned sports writers gathered at league headquarters that the trade fell apart because it failed to meet league guidelines as stipulated in paragraph 3a of the National Football League Rule Book which states: "All parties to any such trade must be legally married."
When questioned, Everdingle stated: "Although Brady and his wife meet this criteria, Mr. Belichick and his current squeeze are merely friends."
With countless rumors of discord between Brady and Belichick being circulated in the weeks leading up to the Super Bowl, no one had anticipated this story. While the stone-faced head coach isn't technically married, he and his friend have been dating for over 10 years.
Although such a trade has precedent, you have to go back to 1973 to find it. In a trade that had the sports world abuzz, teammates Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich of the New York Yankees disclosed that they had exchanged families; Peterson moving in with Suzanne Kekich and her two daughters, and Kekich moving in with Marilyn Peterson and her two sons.
Peterson confided; "Hope you won't make anything sordid out of this."
Kekich added; Don't say this was wife-swapping, because it wasn't. We didn't swap wives, we swapped lives."
Peterson and former Suzanne Kekich are still married, but the relationship between Kekich and Marilyn Peterson did not last very long. But as most baseball historians would agree, batting .500 ain't that bad.