Louis van Gaal has set his sights on The European SuperLeague Copa America Asian Cup after their 1-0 victory over minnows Manchester City today.
In a statement leaked to Sneaky Snoops, he said "we've just beaten a very crap team, who were challenging for the little known English Premier League. Our aim is to be Champions of Interstellar Space, and this victory is one small step for me and one giant leap for Manchester Utd. I believe that, in Fellaini and Marcus Rash Foot, we have the ability to beat anyone on our day, including the likes of the LA Lakers and The Washington Redskins."
Sneaky Snoops reporter, Sir Ian 'Big Fat Beefy' McKellan was apparently denied access to the Manchester City manager today, with the reason being that Sergio Aguero and Joe Hart were having their nails manicured and could not be interrupted in this moment of crisis.