Louis van Gaal has thrown the once almighty Manchester United into a Dutch dilemma!
Will he or won't he? The great question that is sending the UK Tabloids into a frenzy as they grab at every available straw dribbling out of the Theatre of Nightmares!
King Louis has driven United fans to insanity, suicide and millions of Chinese, Indian, anything but Mancunian supporters, have been observed discarding, with impunity, their replica shirts, scarves and anything to do with the club into the River Ganges and Yellow River respectively!
Chief executive, Edward Woodward, a rather ordinary CEO without too much business acumen gave the following interview to a sensible newspaper, The Stockport Times (There are no more sensible newspapers in the UK because they all belong to Murdoch!), here it is:
Reporter: "Eddie, what's the latest with Louis?"
Eddie: "F+ck all and mind your language lad I am a reincarnated Nero and f+cking mad, beware!"
Reporter: "But Eddie the fans are going gaga!"
Eddie: "Better them than me! F+ck them an all lad!"
Reporter: "You are responsible in hiring and firing managers Eddie, so who do you think will take over when Louis has a major heart attack?"
Eddie: "None of your f+cking business now leave me alone I've got more important things to do; a Chinese Noodle giant is gagging to sign a mega-multi million deal with our great club and I really don't give 2 shits about Louis, the players or those moronic fans who buy our merchandise as long as I am the Boss Louis stays put!"
So there you have have it the truth and only truth behind the Louis van Gaal saga and the tabloids love every second of it!!