Liverpool v Man United a tabloid's dream!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 22 March 2015

image for Liverpool v Man United a tabloid's dream!
Liverpool and Man United kick the shit out of each other while Barca v Real show the world how it should be done!

The build up to this massive game is reaching 'white hot' as the tabloids pull out all the punches to sell their filthy newspapers, in fact any sensible football fan in Europe could or would never understand the mass hysteria surrounding this game of fallen giants!

Fact is, English teams are a bunch of wasters in Europe, Real Madrid, Bayern, Barcelona, PSG Paris are far better so why all the hype around 2 teams who once dominated the European game and are now desperately hoping to qualify for the Champions league come what may?

Well here are some answers:

1)The English public love underdogs and English clubs cannot stop yowling whilst being kicked to death by their counterparts in Europe!

2) British tabloids stink and any story that will sell their miserable, non-informative newspapers they leap on, and milk it until its dead. Liverpool v Man United is perfect because Rooney and Balotelli play there and they've had enough scandals behind them to fill up a library of rotting tabloids.

3) While United fight it out against Liverpool a real classic is taking place in Spain; Barcelona v Real and the rest of Europe is waiting for a truly great classic! The English version is about one lame underdog kicking another, hence the English love it, dead underdogs biting one another!

4) Last not least, United have a world wide following of 650 million, mainly the Asian variety, and most of them do not even know where Manchester is and why they are fans of the great club is a mystery apart from the fact that Sir Alex Ferguson once said, "I love a Chinese now and then!" This was totally misinterpreted by millions of Chinese and ever since SAF said his famous words, China has been exporting the brand with impunity!

So as the rest of the football world looks to Spain, the very colloquial English sit back and watch a pair of perennial losers take center stage in the 'Battle to end all Battles" as the crap tabloids rake in even more millions or billions!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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