AFC Bournemouth Rule Out Complacency Ahead Of Crucial Last Game

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

image for AFC Bournemouth Rule Out Complacency Ahead Of Crucial Last Game
Howe and his defenders discussing strategy this morning

AFC Bournemouth, the little-known Southcoast football club that has its name quirkily back-to-front, have ruled out complacency in their final match, as they hover on the verge of promotion to the Premier League for the first time in their 116-year history.

The Cherries will line up against the likes of Chelsea, Manchester City, Arsenal, Manchester United, Liverpool, Tottenham Hotspur, Southampton, Swansea City, Stoke City, Everton, West Ham United, Crystal Palace, West Bromwich Albion, Aston Villa, Hull City and Leicester City - changes in the current table notwithstanding - if they can avoid being beaten heavily at the hands of Charlton Athletic at The Valley next weekend.

But just what does 'heavily' mean?

Victory over Bolton yesterday took the Cherries three points clear of third-placed Middlesbrough with just one game left. Their goal difference is +50, whilst that of the dour Teesside club is only +31, but Cherries' boss Eddie Howe knows that they could just as easily miss out on promotion if they allow complacency to creep in.

Said Howe:

"We know that we can't take anything for granted. It won't take much for it all to end in tears. If, for example, Middlesbrough beat Sheffield Wednesday 1-0, and we lose heavily at Charlton, say 20-0, then that would back to the drawing board for us next season. It's that tight."

But a lesser defeat could also mean trouble for Bournemouth. If 'Boro win 7-0, then even a 13-0 Cherries' loss would keep them in the Championship, and Howe is well aware of the dangers lurking in those northern backwaters.

The 37-year-old boss won't be playing defensively though.

"We've seen what can happen when you play that way, when you try to stifle the opposition, play negatively and park the 'bus'. We'll give it a good go, play our normal passing game, and try to be positive. I'll be playing ten centre forwards," he chuckled.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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