Written by Paul Blake

Thursday, 21 May 2015

image for Pro Golfer Erik Compton Gets A Quick Liver Switch
Golf warrior Erik Compton feels like a new man.

Dallas, TX - Our man, Chip Fairway, is out on the long lonely pro golf trail, where it's Texas Swing time on the PGA Tour. Along the way, he has uncovered the tale of a man who has seen some adversity on his way to becoming a pro golf journey man. Erik Compton, is known on tour for being one tough hombre - having survived not one, but two heart transplants.

As such, it was no big surprise to most of the other pros this week, when Compton showed up at the practice rounds in Dallas, for the Crown Plaza Colonial Tourny, freshly stitched up from a quick liver switch out.

"Yep," admitted Compton, on the practice range, to a severely hungover (and ready to puke from the sight of the stitches) Chip Fairway. "The putter's not wrokin', you switch it. Your shankin' your Driver? Switch it. So if your liver don't feel so hot? You bet, I say go get yourself a new one! I feel great!" the pro told Chip, bouncing the ball up and down off of the face of his driver, then whacking it out of mid air.

It seems that Compton, who leads the PGA in new organs, was feeling a slight twinge in his trusty liver on the 19th hole at Quail Hollow last week, and decided to make the change for the Texas Swing. "Monday morning I had it switched up, they actually did it right in my hotel room for me!"

Compton hopes that from all of the attention he is getting from his new liver, that he can rally up a Corporate Sponsorship for the organ. "I already got interest from Grey Goose Vodka," said Compton with a lucky wink. "Hell, they can open me back up and print their logo right on the damn thing if they want, I usually take Mondays off anyway."

Look for Compton to finish tied for about 44th position this weekend in Dallas (his usual place, plus or minus a few.) But to score first in being the PGA's most hardcore golfing badass!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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