The Reason Why The Arizona Diamondbacks Are 3-8

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 11 April 2014

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Many Arizona Diamondbacks fans blame the team's awful record on Governor Jan Brewer.

PHOENIX - Baseball fans in the Desert State are not too happy with their Arizona Diamondbacks at the present time as they have started off the 2014 season at 3-8.

Sporting Chance Magazine's Hercules Confetti sat down in the D's clubhouse and had a talk with manager Kirk Gibson.

Confetti asked Gibson what he thinks the problem with his team might be. Gibson took a drink of his Saguaro Gatorade and said that he is still trying to figure it out himself.

He then paused for a moment and said that although he does not believe in mumbo jumbo, curses, or jinxes, many of the Diamondback fans do and hundreds of them are putting all the blame on the back of lame duck Governor Jan Brewer.

"Governor Brewer?" Confetti asked somewhat shocked.

Gibson said that she has caused so much disruption with her political comments and actions that all of her BS has now resulted in the team's horrible record.

Relief pitcher J.J. Putz (#40) said that it seems like every time Brewski opens up her GOP mouth the effects of her bitter hatred fall on the ballclub.

Catcher Tuffy Gosewisch (#9) said that he totally agrees with Putz. He added that he did not vote for the scarecrow looking space creature and he puts the blame for the team's bad record on every one that voted for Sarah Palin's evil twin sister.

SIDENOTE: When Governor Brewer was told of the teams comments she became very upset and threatened to levy one hell of a tax on chewing tobacco, sunflower seeds, bubblegum, and hot dogs.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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