Dubious Food Offerings at Sochi Olympics

Funny story written by Wumf

Monday, 10 February 2014

image for Dubious Food Offerings at Sochi Olympics
No concession stands like these at Socchi

SOCHI, RUSSIA - Hungry foreigners attending the Olympic festivities have been suspiciously eyeing the food offerings at the concession stands. So far no one has had the courage to eat anything on the menu, although the Russians themselves are lining up in droves.

One menu item called "Herring Under Fur Coat", resembles a fushia-coated (grated beets and mayo) cake in layers of salted herring and cooked vegetables.

Another menu offering is the highly touted "Kholodets", meat suspended in clear brown mounds of wobbly jello.

Then there is "Salo", sliced raw pig fat, "Kishka", which is chicken skin or an intestine stuffed with more meat and slathered in gravy, as well as herring, mayo and pickle sandwiches.

To wet your thirst there is "Kvas", a mildly alcoholic bottled drink made of rye, honey, and berries of "Kompot" which is a fruit punch.

One of the foreign visitors, Cassie Dunlevy, from Chattanooga, Tennessee, stated, "I'm glad I brought a week's supply of microwave popcorn, beef jerky, and string cheese or I'd be starving!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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