Lance Armstrong stripped of cancer victory

Funny story written by rvler9201

Friday, 18 January 2013

ATLANTA, GA-In response to disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong's admission that he had used performance-enhancing drugs, the American Cancer Society announced today that it had stripped Armstrong of his 1997 victory over cancer, and the 42-year-old would immediately revert to having Stage 3 cancer of the testicles, lungs, and brain.

"Mr. Armstrong's disturbing revelations have disgraced the struggle against cancer," a statement from the A.C.S. read. "In light of these developments, the American Cancer Society's board of directors has voted unanimously to strip Mr. Armstrong of his cancer victory. We hope that this action will maintain the integrity of the disease for future cancer sufferers."

While banning Armstrong for life from competing against cancer was not mentioned, sources inside the A.C.S. say the possibility is "under consideration."

The move is the first reversal of a cancer triumph since 2010, when Sharon Osbourne's victory was revoked in retaliation for The Talk.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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