Air New Zealand ad goes 'balls to the wall'

Funny story written by Francois Dubois, S.J.

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

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We had a cut-line, but never mind!

AUKLAND, New Zealand (ABSNN) - Air New Zealand aired a new "ballsy" ad featuring Belarusian Olympian Nadzeya Ostapchuk who won the London Games' shot-put competition, but was forced to surrender her Gold Medal when she failed a drug test. "The ad caused some slight problems: let's just say it was not a great marketing tool," said company officials.

Had the ad the height and distance of Ostapchuk's put toss, it would have done better; but not only did "the tasteless, but odiferous ad" outrage ANZ customers, and millions of Twitter and Facebook members, "the ad was patently untrue," said Ostapchuk.

The script of the ad asked, and answered, the following "rhetorical" question:

"What large heavy ball was responsible for Valerie Adams' gold medal? The Belarusian's left testicle."

Adams won the Gold Medal when Ostapchuk was disqualified for the use of Performance Enhancing Drugs (PED's).

Adams remained well clear of the controversy and had no comment to make at all.

Tweets abounded with derision of the ad, insisting that it was wrong to claim Ostapchuk was in fact a man. One tweet stated the ad was "unbelievably offensive--transphobic, and just plain unnecessary" (and this writer agrees whole-heartedly!!!)

However, Ostapchuk had the last word regarding the nasty ad, saying, "It was not my left nut!"

And with that, we here think we've kept you informed, God help us!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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