Dallas Mavericks' Lamar Odom Says His Wife Khloe Kardashian Has Become A Jinx

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

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"Lamar Odom needs to find a way to focus on the game of basketball." -MARK CUBAN

DALLAS - The sports world knows that ever since Lamar Odom was traded by the Los Angeles Lakers to the Dallas Mavericks that his on court performance has not exactly been stellar.

Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly has stated that the 6-foot-10-inch tall Odom seems to have lost his focus on the round ball game and appears to be more involved with his and his wife Khloe Kardashian's reality show Khloe & Lamar.

Rufus Reno with SBIW stated that a lot of the Mavericks fans do not like 27-year-old Khloe Kardashian who they say is nothing more than a LaLaLand Diva.

Reno revealed that Mavericks owner Mark "The Midas Touch" Cuban is very concerned.

It is no secret that the wives of most of the Dallas players say that Khloe seems to think that she is better than every woman in Dallas including all of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.

One of the Dallas team wives who did not want her name mentioned said that Khloe, who stand 5-foot-10-inches tall, actually has more muscles than about 85 percent of most soccer players, 90 percent of all professional female wrestlers, and all of the four GOP presidential candidates.

The unnamed wife also added that the word on the streets of Big D is that Khloe is one of the most masculine females in Beverly Hills if you exclude Queen Latifah, Sarah Bernhard, and Kathy Bates.

Reno managed to speak with Lamar and he admitted that he fully understands that his play has definitely been sub-par.

He also realizes that he can no longer blame it on jet lag, the clean Dallas air, or the fact that Dallas does not have as many sushi, tofu, and quiché restaurants as Hollywood does.

Odom, who makes $8.9 million per year, did confess that he has no choice but to place most of the blame for his bad play on his wife.

He expressed that she has somehow managed to jinx his play with her constant, incessant complaining about the fact that she misses her family, her favorite Rodeo Drive Starbucks, and her West Hollywood gynecologist.

A close friend of Lamar's from his college playing days at Rhode Island, Frodell "Fine Wine" Applejohn, pointed out to Lamar that perhaps the answer is for him to travel to Lake Charles, Louisiana, and meet with the Bayou State's top voodoo woman.

The friend explained that Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette has an excellent voodoo curse reversing record and that he feels that Madam Lafayette can help Lamar and get him back on the right track to helping his Mavs team.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette is listed in the National Directory of Voodoo Women as the best in the business. Some of her past clients include Demi Moore; Brandi Glanville, ex-wife of Eddie Cibrian, who was stolen from her by country singer LeAnn Rimes; and the NBA Charlotte Bobcats.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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