QPR have named Mark Hughes as their new boss after promising him up to £30 to spend on sheep.
The Welshman has received assurances from the QPR board that they match his own ambition and are prepared to place a £20-30 war chest at his disposal, enabling him sign the calibre of sheep needed to take the club to the next level.
Hughes, 48, has been out of football since quitting Fulham last June, blaming the statue of Michael Jackson and the The Cottagers' poofy fans for damaging his hard man image.
"I have worked with inbred sheep at Chelsea and gay sheep at Fulham, and i am delighted to have this opportunity to bring my own sheep in and be part of this bleating project", said Sparky.
Chief Executive Philip Beard has told Sky Sports that the profile of the experienced Welshman matches the QPR business model and fans should sit back and enjoy the ride.
"Mark Hughes has a proven track record working with sheep. He has drawn up list of targets and we hope to herd them across Shepherd's Bush Green before the Newcastle game", said Beard.
Staff at Loftus Road have been working overtime to get the deal done.
"It's taken longer than normal because the negotiations had to be carried out in both Welsh and English, and i can tell you from experience it takes ages to get the phlegm out of the carpet", said QPR cleaner Fanny Clunge.
So it's onwards and sideways for QPR, as they say on the playing fields of Wormwood Scrubs.
