Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

image for Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Begs Troy Aikman To Please Come Out of Retirement
Jerry Jones says that the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders are doing their best to cheer on his roller coaster team.

DALLAS - Jerry Jones told his wife that he is tired as hell of watching his Dallas Cowboys team ride the damnedest roller coaster ride this side of hell.

He said one week they win big and the next week they look like Slippery Rock College. He said that he has just about lost what little patience he had as he saw his team get walloped on Sunday Night Football, 34-7 by the Philadelphia Eagles who are now (3-4).

Jones said that he has run out of excuses to give to the sports reporters who cover the Cowboys throughout the year. He said that even the Japanese reporter from Osaka Japan, Hiroki Sakasaki asked him "Hey Jimmy son, how come your team be too much on a rorrer roaster ride huh?"

Jones confided to Tango Brisket of Sports Territory Magazine that after the game he called up former Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman and begged him to return to be his quarterback for the remainder of the season.

Aikman told Jones that he is very content with his announcing job and that he loves the fact that he gets to dress up in a suit and not sweat or worry about getting hit by a blitzing 340 pound defensive lineman who wants to knock him to the ground with such an intense force that his grandmother in Galveston would feel it.

Jones told Troy that he would pay him $20 million, let him hunt on his award-winning huge deer-racked ranch anytime he wants, and provide him with the private, unlisted cell phone numbers of the five most gorgeous, sexiest Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders on the squad.

Troy laughed and told Jimmy to make it ten, and he may consider the offer.

Jerry called him back and told him that he had already texted him the ten names and phone numbers and that he would be emailing him the ten photos immediately.

The ball is now in Troy' court.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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