NFL Coach to Implement More Punts Into the Offensive Scheme

Funny story written by mikewadestr

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

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What the hell is a touchdown?

St. Louis Rams head coach, Steve Spagnuolo, announced this morning that he will be implementing more punts into his offensive scheme for the rest of the season. The fact that the Rams, who, along with their 0-5 record are, also the worst scoring team in the NFL, may have had something to do with his decision.

"We have to do something to protect our offense from their own ineffectiveness", said Spagnuolo at a morning press conference. "I think that implementing more punts will definitely improve our offense, it will help them by not only helping themselves from really screwing up on the field, but it will, also, keep them off the field to keep them from getting tired".

"We have a pretty good defense that will allow our opponents long touchdowns, scoring drives, which will definitely be a plus when it comes to giving our offense a rest".

"We will have no problem punting on first down if our quarterback seems confused as to what the play is that we send in to him. Hell, half the time I have no idea what play we send in to run. I mean, geez, it's not like I have one of those silly wrist bands with all those weird numbers and colors on it. I get stuck with some sheet of paper that has a bunch of weird numbers and colors on it. What the hell is all that about?"

When asked what he thought about the decision, St. Louis Rams punter, Donnie Jones responded:

"Everyone knows that games are won and lost by the punter. This is a great idea, as a matter of fact, coach Spagnuolo told me, if this new scheme goes well, he is going to start letting me call my own plays".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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