There were 370 spoof news snippets published in 2022. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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Canadian Government Admits To Possessing UFO's In Their Own Version Of Area-51...

...which they've named 'Area-51 Eh'.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 25 June 2022

Experts Say 37% Of Nine-Tenths Of Half Of The Population...

...will need 61 % more to double their expectations of the remaining 86 % to be 23.2% of the logarithm, so that four-quarters of half of the results can be 3.141592 %.
Plus or minus 9 %.
Obviously.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 04 January 2022

Supreme court ruling creates rioting

It is leaked the the Supreme Court will rule that only bears are allowed unfringed bear arms. Humans may only have human arms.

written by Aspartame Boy, 25 June 2022

Governments dispensing with lies now offering free bioweopon injections mandatorily

Yeah

written by Aspartame Boy, 05 January 2022

Athletes Foot

Avoid Athletes Foot by getting your legs amputated.

written by Dewani Unhatched, 06 January 2022

Pope Praises Catholic "Supremes" For Following His Lead

"I have been against Abortion all my life, and I am glad to see obedient Catholics do what I want done,” he said. “But don't expect any help from the Church when the baby is born."

written by UncleDale, 26 June 2022

Skid Marks

Avoid skid marks in YOUR undies by wearing someone else's then putting them back into their drawer afterward. He'll be scratching his head for hours wondering how his clean boxers got covered in shit.

written by Dewani Unhatched, 06 January 2022

Coup At The Supreme Court-Thomas Takes Over

There is a new Clarence Thomas Agenda at the Supreme Court. Get rid of abortion Pills, Get rid of gay marriage, and gay teachers in the class room. More gun rights. Less voting Rights for Minorities.

written by UncleDale, 26 June 2022

Onions

Avoid stinging eyes and tears when chopping onions by not chopping onions.

written by Dewani Unhatched, 06 January 2022

Prince Andrew starting to sweat again, says Queen

'It was literally pouring off him when I told him I wasn't going to foot his legal bills' Her Majesty confirmed.

written by Danny Soz, 08 January 2022

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez with COVID-19

She says, “It’s not serious. The virus is just having sex in me.”

written by Aspartame Boy, 10 January 2022

Man Who Bought Boomerang From Ghost...

Hopes it won't come back to haunt him.

written by Danny Soz, 16 January 2022

Chinese national battered by cops after giving name

I did nothing wrong, says Yoo Fat Fuk

written by Danny Soz, 22 January 2022

Supreme Court Catholics Want John Roberts To Be a Cardinal

"The Pope should reward him for getting rid of Abortion,” said Clarence Thomas. “Besides he isn't Conservative enough. He's blocking us really clamping down on the Libs. He'll look good in a dress."

written by UncleDale, 26 June 2022

Dr. Fauci gets mad after slip and fall on ice, hurting his keister

His secretary confirmed that yes indeed, Dr. Fauci was grouchy after ouchy-wowchy.

written by Paul Blake, 23 January 2022

Nietzsche on Mortality

Oh, if only Nietzsche had lived a few years longer, we might now be regaled with, “What doesn’t kill me makes me older.”

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 26 January 2022

Ladies, If You Don't Like Roe - Learn to Use A Gun

Any Problems - learn to use a Gun.

Car won't start - Gun.

The NRA, Supreme Court, and Senators all agree - Guns can solve all your problems. But don't bring them to the Court or Congress. Schools, OK?

written by UncleDale, 26 June 2022

ZEND NO MONEY

After Asia’s bitcoin initiative, there is competition for collections of statues of the Buddha. But there are doubts about the wisdom of investing. An insider commented, “It’s just idol speculation.”

written by Joel Kaye, 26 January 2022

Sign Seen At The Ugly, England Buddha Center - 'Be Aware Of The Dog'

I walked by the Big Bopper Buddha Center one day, in the ugly town of Ugly.

There was muffled chanting - it all sounded like “Fuck you…Fuck you.” Then a little bell would ring. Town is Worth a visit.

written by UncleDale, 26 June 2022

Man with no legs thrown out of dance hall

He kept arsing about, says manager

written by Danny Soz, 29 January 2022

Clarence Thomas is So Dumb ... 1

He’s willing to pass laws that could turn him into a slave.

written by Ana Sian, 26 June 2022

Clarence Thomas is So Dumb ... 2

He will pass a law that could force him and his wife to divorce, with him going to jail for marrying a white woman.

written by Ana Sian, 26 June 2022

Banning the Bible

You think the next book a Texas school board bans will be the Song of Solomon? After all, some teens get a stiffy every time they read it!

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 02 February 2022

Clarence Thomas is So Dumb ... 3

He supports the kind of former president who, if it was 1860, would own him.

written by Ana Sian, 26 June 2022

Entire Population Of Britain Turns Their Back On Prince Andrew Due To His Offensive Actions And Opinions...

...after stating that he doesn't like Tom Baker's version of Doctor Who.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 03 February 2022

Clarence Thomas is So Dumb ... 4

He supports laws that fuels racists and people who would happily lynch him for the color of his skin (‘cuz that’s what their grand-pappys did!)

written by Ana Sian, 26 June 2022

Discontinued Smart Car Models Like The Fortwo And Cabrio Find New Lives For Their Unsold Inventory...

...as kiddie rides at local merry-go-rounds and toy shows.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 03 February 2022

Clarence Thomas is So Dumb ... 5

Since he makes laws which make White Supremacists happy, maybe he thinks he’s white!

written by Ana Sian, 26 June 2022

Empty chairs

As a mass exodus of Conservative ministers continue, minister for chairs and soft furnishings Doris Humphries is fearful that she could soon be fired.

written by Ben Macnair, 04 February 2022

Tucker Carlson Wants A Baby!

Tucker Carlson is so happy that abortion is now illegal, that he wants someone to get him pregnant!

written by Ana Sian, 26 June 2022

A Sense of his own importance

Michael Gove has said that people can't write Government without writing his name, and therefore assumes his job will always be a safe one.

written by Ben Macnair, 04 February 2022

A Tasty Joke!

Instead of sticking fingers down their throats, anorexics are now using photos of Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, and, as usual, Donald Trump to make themselves vomit.

written by Ana Sian, 26 June 2022

Russia's Latest Drugging Scandal Calls For New Team Acronym

After the recent Olympic sanctions, the ROC team moniker is out. However, his Excellency, the Russian President is at-the-ready with a new one: the PUDUSSies -- Putin's Drugged-up Skatin' Serfies.

written by Trinculoman, 10 February 2022

Lauren Boebert Is So Dumb ... 1

She thinks if Jesus had an AR-15, he wouldn’t have been crucified.

written by Ana Sian, 26 June 2022

Russians Win Women's Figure Skaring, Ukraine Invasion Cancelled

Putin ordered Valieva to fall so there wpuld be a medal ceremony for a Russian gold and silver. Ukriane invasion now off.

written by Ralph E. Shaffer, 17 February 2022

Lauren Boebert Is So Dumb ... 2

She thinks if Moses had a submarine, he wouldn’t need to split the Red Sea to get away from Pharaoh’s army.

written by Ana Sian, 26 June 2022

In Small Town News...

...Mrs. Gretel Crabbley of Crabbley's Corner Store and Spoon Emporium in the town of Drunk Duck Creek wants customers to wipe their feet when they visit or else Gretel's shotgun will do it for them!

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 27 February 2022

Lauren Boebert Is So Dumb ... 3

She thinks if Mary Magdalene was on Sugar Daddy websites, she would’ve been paid better as a whore.

written by Ana Sian, 26 June 2022

$87,000,000,000 Government Study Reveals That Most Mistakes By People...

...were caused by 'doing this instead of that'.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 09 March 2022

Marjorie Taylor Greene is So Dumb ...

She thinks Jesus would’ve loved to join the KKK, if only he hadn’t been Jewish.

written by Ana Sian, 26 June 2022

In Future News; Moon Men Return To Moon After Successful Diplomatic Visit...

...And in a related story, humans can now see entire continent of Australia at its new home in the middle of the Sea of Tranquility!

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 22 March 2022

How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 1

Being tapped on the back and being called a scumbag ... felt like he was being murdered by a terrorist!

written by Ana Sian, 27 June 2022

Trigger

Ironically, epoch changing televisual event Only Fools and Horses has never had a Trigger warning.

written by Ben Macnair, 01 April 2022

How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 2

A speck of dust went into his eye ... and he felt as though he was blinded by tear gas shot by Antifa!

written by Ana Sian, 27 June 2022

Art Critic Known For His Pretentious and Exaggerated Appreciation Of The Arts...

...discloses that now that he's older, people aren't calling him 'artsy fartsy' anymore, but rather just 'fartsy'.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 07 April 2022

How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 3

He stubbed his toe on a curb ... and he felt like Joe Biden cut off his foot!

written by Ana Sian, 27 June 2022

Supernanny explains how she would handle Putin

"He should be sent to the naughty steppe," she said.

written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface, 09 April 2022

How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 4

He sneezed ... and he felt like Democrats were trying to blow up his head from the inside!

written by Ana Sian, 27 June 2022

All-Out War Erupts Amongst Hillibilly Community...

...Situation considered serious after Uncle Zebediah overhears his wife's cousin's brother-in-law, Cousin Zebediah Junior, use a three-syllable word.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 09 April 2022

How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 5

He farted ... and he felt like Hilary Clinton shoved a bomb up his ass!

written by Ana Sian, 27 June 2022

Achy Breaky

Miley Cyrus’ mom, Tish, has an achy breaky heart, so she has filed for an achy breaky divorce from her achy breaky husband, Billy Ray ... who now regrets ever writing the song that ended his marriage.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 6

He picked his nose ... because he thought Nancy Pelosi had shoved a brain-eating centipede up there!

written by Ana Sian, 27 June 2022

Cancelling Disney

Some are calling for the cancelling of Walt Disney. Guards at Disneyland are keeping a close eye on the thermostat to make sure no one fiddles with it.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 7

Someone said “Hello, Rudy” ... and he thought it was the voice of Satan calling him down to Hell.

written by Ana Sian, 27 June 2022

Nancy’s Law

The Department Of Justice has subpoenaed the boots of Melania Trump under a little known piece of legislation called the Nancy Sinatra law, which states: “These boots were made for talking.”

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 8

He was called ‘paranoid’ ... and he couldn’t argue, it was very, very true.

written by Ana Sian, 27 June 2022

Amendment Typo

A typo has recently been discovered in the Second Amendment. Correct version: “The right of the people to keep and bear Farms shall not be infringed.” America was an agrarian society at the time.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

Jerry Seinfeld in Russia

What’s the deal with genocide? I mean, there can be no Russian history without it! [Beat.] I’m going to the Gulag, aren’t I?

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

In Canada, Abortion Is A Medical Precedure - Funded For Taxpayers.

In America, Politicians know better than Doctors - so make all the legal medical decisions. Basically, shove the Doctors around. But don't want any laws restricting what their wives can do medically.

written by UncleDale, 27 June 2022

A Modern-Day Dracula

Vlad ‘the Impaler’ Putin with a glass of red ‘wine’.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

Biden completes bicycle ride

Biden completed a bicycle ride around the block without falling at an average speed of 5 miles per hour. Putin sends a congratulatory postcard featuring him on horseback.

written by Aspartame Boy, 27 June 2022

Lunch at Putin’s House

Where the food tasters are dropping like flies!

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

Supreme Court Will Eventually Support Forcible Conversions To Christianity

"The Supreme Court Majority is running as fast as it can to the Extreme Right on Religious Matters,said a Christian leader.Maybe they should give up the Law, become Preachers.,and carry guns."

written by UncleDale, 27 June 2022

Putin’s Golf Game

He always wins because he uses anti-tank missile launchers instead of golf clubs.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

Hollywood is Obsessed with Remakes

So the next Lord of the Rings will be an all-Wookie and Stormtrooper production where they throw the Death Star into a black hole called Mordor.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

Christ Directly Said - Pray at Home, And Alone - (To Jehovah)

Christ was basically saying - don't be like those black robed public officials - pushing Prayer in Public on to Everybody.

What part of 'at home' and ' Alone' don't these stupid Judges not understand?

written by UncleDale, 27 June 2022

Two Words

For the next Star Wars movie: Darth Trump.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

General Motors Recalls 500,000 Newly-Designed Pontiac Firebird Sports Cars...

...after they were mistakenly labelled 'Pontiac Chicken Bird'.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 27 June 2022

Darth Jada

Jada Pinkett Smith has signed a contract to be in the next Star Wars epic, where she will play Darth Emasculator.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

After Chris Rock Got A Smack

Will Smith didn’t get laid by Jada, so he could only spank his monkey.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

In America, No Birth Control Ever - Evangelical Plan

The Evangelicals/Republican Politicians have Women by the Vagina.

All religions hate Birth Control.

The Earth had 8 Billion people, soon, 10 Billion - Can only support 2 Billion.

Pray for a miracle.

written by UncleDale, 28 June 2022

Mitch McConnell is so old ...

That not only can’t he find his moral red line, but he also can’t find his underwear, car keys, his Russian passport, nor a president who isn’t a criminal at large.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

Police Tear Gas And Violently Arrest Abortion Protestors

When the Proud Boys and other Trump Groups Violently parade and protest - No Tear Gas or violent arrests. Sometimes, even handshakes from the Police.

written by UncleDale, 28 June 2022

Gaetz Lost A Date

Matt Gaetz was going to go to the Oscars, but his date was stuck in a time-out.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

Mars Marjorie

Marjorie Taylor Greene has signed up with Elon Musk to be the first woman to personally hand out Bibles to Republicans on Mars.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

Lauren Boebert Is So Dumb ...

She scheduled a trip to the Sahara Desert to look for her camel toe.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

Jesus the Bootlegger

If Jesus could turn water into wine, why can’t I get drunk at a Christian wedding?

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

White Fanatic Floridians - 'We Still Love You, Trump'

"Trump - Still Love Ya!” A group of Rural Racists said. “We don't care that you lie, are a bully, harass women, etc. We don't want our Kids to do these things - but keep up your Good Works."

written by UncleDale, 29 June 2022

Honor Thy Cats

What do you call 100 cats owned by Honor Blackman? Pussy Galore.

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

Last Supreme Court Ruling - States Must Give Welfare People Guns

"Because the 2nd amendment Rules All. States must give Welfare Recipients free guns along with Food Stamps,” said a Court spokesman. “There are only 20 million guns - not enough for an Armed Militia yet"

written by UncleDale, 29 June 2022

Nancy’s Law

The Department Of Justice has subpoenaed the boots of Melania Trump under a little known piece of legislation called the Nancy Sinatra law, which states: “These boots were made for talking.”

written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022

Boris Johnson Weight Gain Latest

The PM is now so fat that when he attends parliament he sits next to everybody

written by Danny Soz, 13 April 2022

Biden To Increase NATO In Europe - Needs More Taxpayer Cash

The Defense Dept wastes $80 Billion dollars a year, out of a $800 Billion Dollar Budget. More Money is needed for NATO, so Waste to go up to $100 Billion.

Congress regulates Defense Dept. .. LOL.

written by UncleDale, 29 June 2022

Harry McGuire Denies Posing for Nude Photos

'It's a complete cock and ball story' claims the England and Manchester United defender

written by Danny Soz, 18 April 2022

God Wants Us To Have Religious Democracy - Run By Republicans

The Evangelicals are sure this is What God wants. Christian Prayer in the Schools. God Fearing Politicians Running Things. Preachers In Charge - Like Iran. So Far, the Supreme Court Agrees.

written by UncleDale, 30 June 2022

Invisible Man Speaks up!

The invisible man President Biden was shaking hands with at a news conference last week finally speaks to the press: "Um, it's kind of embarrassing but that wasn't my hand he was shaking."

written by Adam Click, 24 April 2022

Ollie North Is Pissed

Oliver North Called Marjorie Taylor Greene to say, “Hey, you stole that ‘I don’t recall’ thing from me! That’s my bit!”

Of course, Marge replied, “I don’t recall.”

written by Ana Sian, 30 April 2022

How To Close Southern Border - Stop Migrant Deaths

It's easy. Put all US Army Basic Training Camps in states that border Mexico. They patrol 24 hours - catch all illegals. The Border Patrol is too small to catch Half a million illegals a year.

written by UncleDale, 30 June 2022

Matt Gaetz After Retirement from Politics

Matt Gaetz has announced his retirement from politics to rent out his forehead to show movies on at kid’s parties.

written by Ana Sian, 30 April 2022

Truck X-Rays Needed At Mexican Borders

Overwhelmed Border check stations need truck x-rays to check trucks. Currently trucks are checked as they were in the 1900's by hand. A Truck Xray would have caught the truck full of illegals.

written by UncleDale, 30 June 2022

Amber Heard is On Her Way to the Oscars!

Amber Heard has already been nominated for an Oscar in a new category made just for her: Best Eye Roll in a Courtroom Drama.

written by Ana Sian, 30 April 2022

Candace Owens is so dumb ... Part 1

She thinks Machiavelli is a type of Italian sports car

written by Ana Sian, 01 May 2022

Marcos Jr. Now President of Phillipines - Shoe Salesmen Happy!

Marcos Jr. is the Philippines' new president. Shoe salesmen are licking their chops, as his mother, Imelda, famous for her vast number of fancy designer shoes - will be buying thousands of new ones.

written by UncleDale, 30 June 2022

Candace Owens is so dumb ... PART 2

She thinks George Washington was the 41st and 43rd Presidents of the U.S.A.

written by Ana Sian, 01 May 2022

Supreme Court - Muslim Prayer Legal for Christian Kids, If on Football Field

A recent Supreme Court Ruling makes it Legal for Muslim Mullahs to Offer Islamic Prayers for Allah to Christian Students - as long as it is on a football field. Mullahs can now influence young minds.

written by UncleDale, 30 June 2022

Candace Owens is so dumb ...

She thinks Marjorie Taylor Greene is green.

written by Ana Sian, 01 May 2022

Marjorie Taylor Greene is so dumb ...

She can’t recall.

written by Ana Sian, 01 May 2022

If China lands on Mars ...

The first thing they would build would be a wall to imprison themselves, plus Tibet, Taiwan, the Uyghur people, and anyone else they 'claim' as their own.

written by Ana Sian, 03 May 2022

If America lands on Mars ...

The first thing they would build would be a gun shop, then act surprised when one of them goes on a mass shooting.

written by Ana Sian, 03 May 2022

If Russia lands on Mars ...

The first thing they would build would be a cruise missile that can hit anywhere on the planet within minutes, even if it means blowing themselves up as well.

written by Ana Sian, 03 May 2022

« 2021 2022  
January
13
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February
8
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March
2
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April
29
snippets
May
30
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June
171
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July
54
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August
63
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September
0
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October
0
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November
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