There were 173 spoof news snippets published in June 2022. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Canadian Government Admits To Possessing UFO's In Their Own Version Of Area-51...
...which they've named 'Area-51 Eh'.
written by Stefano M. Stefano, 25 June 2022
Supreme court ruling creates rioting
It is leaked the the Supreme Court will rule that only bears are allowed unfringed bear arms. Humans may only have human arms.
written by Aspartame Boy, 25 June 2022
Pope Praises Catholic "Supremes" For Following His Lead
"I have been against Abortion all my life, and I am glad to see obedient Catholics do what I want done,” he said. “But don't expect any help from the Church when the baby is born."
Coup At The Supreme Court-Thomas Takes Over
There is a new Clarence Thomas Agenda at the Supreme Court. Get rid of abortion Pills, Get rid of gay marriage, and gay teachers in the class room. More gun rights. Less voting Rights for Minorities.
Supreme Court Catholics Want John Roberts To Be a Cardinal
"The Pope should reward him for getting rid of Abortion,” said Clarence Thomas. “Besides he isn't Conservative enough. He's blocking us really clamping down on the Libs. He'll look good in a dress."
Ladies, If You Don't Like Roe - Learn to Use A Gun
Any Problems - learn to use a Gun.
Car won't start - Gun.
The NRA, Supreme Court, and Senators all agree - Guns can solve all your problems. But don't bring them to the Court or Congress. Schools, OK?
Sign Seen At The Ugly, England Buddha Center - 'Be Aware Of The Dog'
I walked by the Big Bopper Buddha Center one day, in the ugly town of Ugly.
There was muffled chanting - it all sounded like “Fuck you…Fuck you.” Then a little bell would ring. Town is Worth a visit.
Clarence Thomas is So Dumb ... 1
He’s willing to pass laws that could turn him into a slave.
Clarence Thomas is So Dumb ... 2
He will pass a law that could force him and his wife to divorce, with him going to jail for marrying a white woman.
Clarence Thomas is So Dumb ... 3
He supports the kind of former president who, if it was 1860, would own him.
Clarence Thomas is So Dumb ... 4
He supports laws that fuels racists and people who would happily lynch him for the color of his skin (‘cuz that’s what their grand-pappys did!)
Clarence Thomas is So Dumb ... 5
Since he makes laws which make White Supremacists happy, maybe he thinks he’s white!
Tucker Carlson Wants A Baby!
Tucker Carlson is so happy that abortion is now illegal, that he wants someone to get him pregnant!
A Tasty Joke!
Instead of sticking fingers down their throats, anorexics are now using photos of Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, and, as usual, Donald Trump to make themselves vomit.
Lauren Boebert Is So Dumb ... 1
She thinks if Jesus had an AR-15, he wouldn’t have been crucified.
Lauren Boebert Is So Dumb ... 2
She thinks if Moses had a submarine, he wouldn’t need to split the Red Sea to get away from Pharaoh’s army.
Lauren Boebert Is So Dumb ... 3
She thinks if Mary Magdalene was on Sugar Daddy websites, she would’ve been paid better as a whore.
Marjorie Taylor Greene is So Dumb ...
She thinks Jesus would’ve loved to join the KKK, if only he hadn’t been Jewish.
How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 1
Being tapped on the back and being called a scumbag ... felt like he was being murdered by a terrorist!
How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 2
A speck of dust went into his eye ... and he felt as though he was blinded by tear gas shot by Antifa!
How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 3
He stubbed his toe on a curb ... and he felt like Joe Biden cut off his foot!
How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 4
He sneezed ... and he felt like Democrats were trying to blow up his head from the inside!
How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 5
He farted ... and he felt like Hilary Clinton shoved a bomb up his ass!
How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 6
He picked his nose ... because he thought Nancy Pelosi had shoved a brain-eating centipede up there!
How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 7
Someone said “Hello, Rudy” ... and he thought it was the voice of Satan calling him down to Hell.
How Big of a Pussy is Rudy Guiliani? Part 8
He was called ‘paranoid’ ... and he couldn’t argue, it was very, very true.
In Canada, Abortion Is A Medical Precedure - Funded For Taxpayers.
In America, Politicians know better than Doctors - so make all the legal medical decisions. Basically, shove the Doctors around. But don't want any laws restricting what their wives can do medically.
Biden completes bicycle ride
Biden completed a bicycle ride around the block without falling at an average speed of 5 miles per hour. Putin sends a congratulatory postcard featuring him on horseback.
written by Aspartame Boy, 27 June 2022
Supreme Court Will Eventually Support Forcible Conversions To Christianity
"The Supreme Court Majority is running as fast as it can to the Extreme Right on Religious Matters,said a Christian leader.Maybe they should give up the Law, become Preachers.,and carry guns."
Christ Directly Said - Pray at Home, And Alone - (To Jehovah)
Christ was basically saying - don't be like those black robed public officials - pushing Prayer in Public on to Everybody.
What part of 'at home' and ' Alone' don't these stupid Judges not understand?
General Motors Recalls 500,000 Newly-Designed Pontiac Firebird Sports Cars...
...after they were mistakenly labelled 'Pontiac Chicken Bird'.
written by Stefano M. Stefano, 27 June 2022
In America, No Birth Control Ever - Evangelical Plan
The Evangelicals/Republican Politicians have Women by the Vagina.
All religions hate Birth Control.
The Earth had 8 Billion people, soon, 10 Billion - Can only support 2 Billion.
Pray for a miracle.
written by UncleDale, 28 June 2022
Police Tear Gas And Violently Arrest Abortion Protestors
When the Proud Boys and other Trump Groups Violently parade and protest - No Tear Gas or violent arrests. Sometimes, even handshakes from the Police.
written by UncleDale, 28 June 2022
White Fanatic Floridians - 'We Still Love You, Trump'
"Trump - Still Love Ya!” A group of Rural Racists said. “We don't care that you lie, are a bully, harass women, etc. We don't want our Kids to do these things - but keep up your Good Works."
Last Supreme Court Ruling - States Must Give Welfare People Guns
"Because the 2nd amendment Rules All. States must give Welfare Recipients free guns along with Food Stamps,” said a Court spokesman. “There are only 20 million guns - not enough for an Armed Militia yet"
Biden To Increase NATO In Europe - Needs More Taxpayer Cash
The Defense Dept wastes $80 Billion dollars a year, out of a $800 Billion Dollar Budget. More Money is needed for NATO, so Waste to go up to $100 Billion.
Congress regulates Defense Dept. .. LOL.
God Wants Us To Have Religious Democracy - Run By Republicans
The Evangelicals are sure this is What God wants. Christian Prayer in the Schools. God Fearing Politicians Running Things. Preachers In Charge - Like Iran. So Far, the Supreme Court Agrees.
How To Close Southern Border - Stop Migrant Deaths
It's easy. Put all US Army Basic Training Camps in states that border Mexico. They patrol 24 hours - catch all illegals. The Border Patrol is too small to catch Half a million illegals a year.
Truck X-Rays Needed At Mexican Borders
Overwhelmed Border check stations need truck x-rays to check trucks. Currently trucks are checked as they were in the 1900's by hand. A Truck Xray would have caught the truck full of illegals.
Marcos Jr. Now President of Phillipines - Shoe Salesmen Happy!
Marcos Jr. is the Philippines' new president. Shoe salesmen are licking their chops, as his mother, Imelda, famous for her vast number of fancy designer shoes - will be buying thousands of new ones.
Supreme Court - Muslim Prayer Legal for Christian Kids, If on Football Field
A recent Supreme Court Ruling makes it Legal for Muslim Mullahs to Offer Islamic Prayers for Allah to Christian Students - as long as it is on a football field. Mullahs can now influence young minds.
New Poll - 25% Of Americans OK-To Take Up Arms Against Fed. Gov.
In a new poll many said it is OK to take up Arms against the Government. "The Founders did it,” said one.
“They trashed the Capitol – it looked like fun,” said another. “Voting is boring.”
Chris Rock Won't Make Any More Bald Wife Jokes
Says he has learned his lesson. Will stick to jokes about Tourette's Syndrome, paraplegics,epileptics and other healthy, jokable topics.
Smart Fla. Gov. Desantis Beats Dumb Trump in GOP Poll
In 2024, we want a president with a brain, says one of the poll takers. And we all appreciate Gov. De Santis using his powers to crush anyone who opposes him. A real macho, Putin type guy.
Trump Changes Mind - Next Covid Epidemic - No Bleach-Exlax
Trump is still scientifically studying Covid. He no longer recommends bleach but has found the commercial product Ex-Lax best for flushing out the Covid virus.
The Fed-Kiss the Corporations' Butts-and Screw the Workers.
The Fed is Fair-years of free money for the Corporations to 'fritter' away. High gasoline prices for workers,to make up the the wasted money given to the corporations.
Mobile Homes are a 'Cash Cow' for Corporations
Make Quick money! Buy mobile home parks, and double the rent on elderly retirees. Instant cash! No laws against it. Republicans see it as a smart business move.
Half of Republicans Say Mass Shootings Price We Pay Because of Constitution.
"Guns-R-Us, Baby", said one Republican. Another said - "They happen because we need a Well-Regulated Militia. The city, county and state police, National Guard, and the Army are not enough militia".
John Hinckley Jr. Granted Unconditional Release - 'Together at Last,' Shouts a Radiant and Elated Jodie Foster
On June 15, John Hinckley Jr (67), who shot Pres. Reagan in 1981, is set to be released. Actress Jodie Foster (59) announced that she had kept all his letters. 'He's my savior... my taxi driver.'
written by Ernest Funtz, 06 June 2022
What is a cat hole?
An asshole cat.
written by Ana Sian, 07 June 2022
In Europe - One (cellphone) Plug To Rule Them All
EU officials are mandating that there be one basic charging cord for all cellphones in the 27 nations of the EU. The Mighty Apple will have a sales bite taken out of them, if they don't comply.
Trump Claims He is The Fattest President in U.S. History
President Taft was fattest. But Trump claims that results back then were manipulated. He's Number 1. Trump says, "measure from his feet to his head" - not the other way - and he is actually the fattest.
Tucker Carlson is Fox News Ultraconservative Smiling Pit Bull
In the past, Tucker, has repeatedly made Racist, Sexist, Anti Immigrant and Homophobic Comments. Fox News likes that in a guy. No real news, but a real good Ultra Right Republican propaganda station.
Bitcoin is Fairy Dust - Worse than Vegas.
Bitcoins are bits in a computer. It is theoretical money. The lucky minority will cash out and get real money or buy a car or other hard asset. The majority,as at Vegas, will get financially screwed.
Thank the Republican Politicians For Our Liberal Gun Supply
All thanks to the Republicans so that we have all the guns we want. No other country does this. Some day every man, woman and child will have a gun. Small guns for the kids, big guns for the adults.
President Trump - A 'Deadbeat President' - Owes $2 Million
President Trump has been a Deadbeat for years owing thousands to businesses. He currently owes $2 million to 14 city police agencies-bills from his presidential campaign. He is famous for not paying.
Damning Trump Documents Found By Jan 6th Committe Under Pile of Big Macs
Jan 6 Investigators found desk documents at Mar a Lago detailing tentative plans to kidnap VP Pence. They were under old Big Macs sandwiches. "That were his emergency supply," said a secretary.
God Biggest Abortionist On The Planet - Experts Say
All over the Earth, millions of women spontaneously abort genetically defective fetuses, keeping the Human Race really healthy. Evolutionary biologists say this is good. No comment from the Pope.
Putin Gripes About The 'Wishy-Washy' West
"I killed thousand in Chechnya, no problem,” he says. “I steal part of country of Georgia and all of Crimea - slap on wrist. I steal part of Ukraine, suddenly big problem - stupid
West, just like woman."
Trump Would be Very Attractive With a Mustache
Would have to buy one-dye it to match his dyed blonde locks..A square little blonde mustache right under his nose. And if he could also learn to click his heels, lift his arm. His heritage is German.
Are You An Angry Teen Needing a Rifle? Try Facebook!
Face Book officially Bans sales of guns and rifles - but plenty are available for sale. But beware! - Facebook is ultra-severe! After catching you in 10 illegal sales, no more Facebook for you.
What if Russia Never leaves Ukraine? - NATO Will Have To Step In.
Or maybe we will be just like World War Two,where Europe just let Hitler goggle up two or three countries, before trying to stop him. And if Trump is re-elected, is he going to be our Mussolini?
What if Russia Never leaves Ukraine?-NATO Will Have To Step In.
Or maybe we will be just like World War Two, where Europe just let Hitler goggle up two or three countries, before trying to stop him. And if Trump is re-elected, is he going to be our Mussolini?
Putin Really Likes Ukraine - He Kidnaps its People, Steals its Grain, and Land
Mentally ill Putin wants Ukraine, great seaports, lots of free wheat, free land. Just what Russia needs. Stalin also stole lots of Ukrainian wheat, and starved Ukrainians. Basically, father and son.
Is Anyone Else Disturbed by the Dozens of Pop-Up Ads, While Reading Online Articles?
Isn't this a bit of overkill? No regulation of course-Just Ram the ads down. our throats. Must be a U.S. thing., like guns. I don't like ads blinking and smirking at me while reading.
New Tours of Europe Come to Italy and Trash the Monuments
There are new anti-eco tours of Europe, for the younger tourists. They are bored with all the old tours. Do a tour where you get to trash some old, priceless monuments. Real fun, like a video game.
Mick Jagger To Do Musical 'Oliver' - set in Old Age Home For Rockers
Mick has always loved 'Oliver'. He envisions aging rockers, taking out their dentures, when singing, ‘Teeth, glorious teeth'. He of course will be Oliver and will dance during 'pick a pocket or two'.
Airlines to Add 'Mile-High Club' Restrooms for First Class Passengers
To make more money, airlines are adding a paying restroom. to planes. It allows you and a female companion, or at additional cost, a selected flight attendant, to use the restroom at the same time.
Big Hunter Donald Trump Jr. Has Hunting Double Who Kills The Animals.
It's just been revealed that Donald Trump Jr. has never killed an animal in his life. Faints at blood. He has a Hunting Double who does the shooting. Then he holds the bloody head and grins for photos.
I need an Ar-15 Assault Rifle Because There Are Mice In the Closet.
I have tried everything. Just put the muzzle in the mouse hole, and blast away. It is the only thing that works. So let us keep our Ar-15s. I am a voter, a few deaths in the long run don't matter.
Prince George Got Queen with 'Whoopie Cushion', at Buckingham Palace.
Paddington Bear was visiting with others, the Queen got distracted and sat on a noisy ‘whoopie cushion’, placed earlier by prankish Prince George. Much Mayhem, as Security thought it was terrorists.
Poor Old Donald Trump Got His Butt Nailed to the Ground by Jan 6th Committee.
But 20% of Americans still believe the Sun rises in the East and sets in the West, and don't believe in the rotation of the Earth - (that's not in the Bible). So, he still might get re-elected.
Internet influencer Cindy Tells Us What To Take When Travelling-Extra Bras.
Big breasted Influencer Cindy Ray say when travelling-always take extra bras-don't trust foreign bras. And buy the panties with the security pocket for your passport and money. Good unless groped.
A rich Chinese Tycoon Was Caught in a Typhoon in Hong Kong-with Biden Bobble Head Dolls
Da Wang managed to escape Chinese prosecution for selling Biden bobble head dolls, illegal, but very popular in China, by buying his way on a Russian oligarch's super yacht heading for Fiji.
Ivanka Trump at Jan. 6th Rally-went to Capital, was in Pelosi's Office
Ivanka Trump was at the Rally. Afterwards, with a friend, put on Hollywood shades, and a Hoodie-and went down to the Capital. She found Pelosi's office - had always been curious how it was decorated.
Putin Pounding Table - Wants Russian Empire Back...
Putin at meeting with advisors - "I want my Empire Back. We won them fair and square in World War II. How can I be a dictator if I don't have countries to kick around?" Stalin is rolling in his grave.
Police Justified in Fatally Shooting Black Man in Back.
Police officials in Mississippi said their officer had to shoot a fleeing black man. He had stolen food, and, was running, and had lost his crutches. I felt threatened and had to shoot-said officer.
'Nude' looking Business Suits Are The Latest For Female CEO's.
The latest rage for female executives are nude-looking, snug, business suits....some are skin colored,some have tights. All with built in plastic breast nipples the same color as the buttons.
The New Nipple Dresses,Inspired by Miley Cyrus-To Be the Rage This Summer.
"I have really small nipples said one customer. Now,with built in nipples in my blouses,, I can compete with the big nipple girls.. Thanks Miley for thinking of us! And they are so cute! "
Papal Envoy Visitng Westminster, Says He Has Never seen So Many Goodlooking Young Choir Men...and Boys.
A visiting Pope's envoy, says he has never seen of many rosy cheeked boys, and athletic choir men. Italy also has much male beauty he said, and many in the Vatican know from personal experience.
New Science Finding - Male Ejaculate Makes Those Bags Under Your Eyes Disappear
Experiments by scientists on several hundred cooperative female subjects, mainly college women, determined it is best applied fresh. "What a moisteriser, one woman gushed. And so easy to get."
Donald trump Said President Putin told Him to Do the Coup.
Trump confirmed it to a pretty female fox columnist - "Putin told me to do it.. I can't think these things up on my own. If it was successful, I would have sole rights to build hotels in Ukraine."
Latest thing Going On At the Chi Chi Hamptons This Summer-Orgasm Camp
Gab your Hollywood shades and join the Kardashian wannabees at the Hamptons' new orgasm camps. Silk tents-Oral massage and skillful fingering by muscular young men lead to that Kumbaya feeling.
President Trump To Have A Volcano Named After Him
Russian-named Paviof Volcano in the Aleutians will now be re-named Trump Volcano,said the Alaska GOP. We were going to name a mountain after him, but he is more a volcano, spewing hot crap and gas.
Trump Denies Saying Pence Should Be Hanged
Trump-"All I said was it was an interesting idea. See how things get distorted? .And someone here squealed. I have no privacy, not even in the bedroom. There is an agent with us, even in there."
New Drug Being Put Out By Colombia Cartle - It's to Die For
The Colombia Drug Cartel has a popular new drug-half Cocaine and half Fentanyl. It is so popular that people are dying to try it. It is to die for apparently -literally.
World Sexual Olympics - The Brits. George First-And Also Melanie Muffin Ahead
Melanie Muffin of the UK is far ahead in the Penis Stimulating Event. "I have a big mouth,and my brothers helped me," she said. "In the Women's Stimulating event, George has caused the most orgasms."
Britain to Deport Illegal Immigrants To Antarctica
"Rwanda was a little too close to deport them to-they might come back to Britain, said a spokesman. Also we won't have to spend much money on them there. They will only be there a short time."
We are 2% Viruses, 6% Bacteria, With Human and eanderthal Genes - A Mess
Read some Evolution books. No wonder we got nutty right Wing Conservatives politicians saying and doing stupid,delusional things. Too much Neanderthal genes in them-or like the movie The Fly.
Just to mention it - In Evolution - the Female Existed Before The Male
Males were a late development.Females had been around a billion years. So males inherited female chest nipples. And we now know God created Eve first. Ignorant Jews writing Genesis were wrong.
NFL Team the Carolina Panthers Has Their First 'Trannie' Cheerleader
She is dating Mike, a Referee, who is legally blind. "Come on guys, he said, I know a female ass when I feel one. She's always on her period, so we have to do it the other way." No more jokes.
Dame Edna on Comedy - It's An Icepick, Not a Sledge hammer
Dame Edna had friends over for Gins, saying, "Comedy is an ice pick, nor a sledgehammer." I could imitate the Queen right now-but bad taste. (Besides I would rather imitate Megan and get a new wig)."
New Putin Russian Burger Joint Opens to Compete with Russian McDoanlds
'Putin-Stalin Comradski Burgers' will open to compete with The new Russian Mcdonalds. Putin needs the money. Free vodka with a combo.. Pics..of Putin, with the famous Stalin face tattoo in a heart.
Russia Has Set Up Hospitality Camps For Ukranians, over Russia.
Russia has taken hundreds of thousands of Ukrainian women and children to Russia. "They are happy here, said a general. They live in tents, and make military uniforms,day and night. Very happy."
First Church of Trump Established in Rural Flordia
In a Florida storefront, Services are held. "Trump is the prophet of Whites again ruling American, said the leader. Amen, said the crowd. Come to the alter for bits of big Mac and Coke-in his name."
Korea's kim Jong Un Fires Missile That Narrowly Misses Hawaii-Trump Responds
"What a smart guy," Trump said, "and a good friend of mine. We are on the same wavelength. He wasn't serious-just joking. He could have hit Hawaii if he had really wanted to. What a great guy."
People In India and Asia ,With 10 Children, Are Starving
Mahatma,an Indian,said "the Christian idea of 'Be Fruitful and Multiply' is popular everywhere. Birth control is Bad-and American Christians say so too. Give us food,so we can have more children."
Israeli Police Destroy East Jerusalem-Residents Don't Have Deeds to 1,000 Year Old Buildings.
Israel had to demolish Muslim East Jerusalem, as the residents had no good deeds. The Courts ruled some of the 13th century deeds were not in Hebrew, and the earlier Cuneiform deeds were no good.
If Only Local Militias Had Guns-Proud Boys,etc,-There Would Be No Violence.
The Constitution mandates local Militias. Let our local Proud Boys,Wisconsin Militia,etc. have sniper rifles, shoot if fearing for their life, search houses,, and finally have us a peaceful country.
Pres.Trump and Jan.6th-The Biggest Presidential Liar in US History.
Trump loves to be Number One. He has told more lies than any other president.
All his followers are, daily, teaching their kids to be honest. But Trump lies thousands of times-no problem..
written by UncleDale, 13 June 2022