Hair Stylists unite Name New Styles of the Century
Top 5 Style Makers - 2019:
1. Boris Johnson - "Explodo Head".
2. Donald Trump - "Cliff Hanger."
3. Tilda Swinton - "Pippin loves us all."
5. Marilyn Manson "Black is - paint this, bitch."
New Slug Family Classified - not Recognized
Richard Dawkins, famous atheist, has refused to recognize a new slug family classification identified by University of Warwick biology researchers, stating their winged shapes make them unfeasible.
Stranded Alien Signalled The Pope
The Pope called an immediate balcony audience to wave in an alien who had signalled for emergency landing directions. "JP II says Luv U" beamed the aliens using light bursts in Morse Code. "QE tutu".
Trump Tweets for the 28th Time That He's Never Heard of a "Category 5" Storm
He was also surprised to find out they have "weather reports", and that he didn't need to tweet the info.
written by Al N., 04 September 2019