Ellie James gets Hailed on
Spoof reporter, Ellie James, gets caught in hailstorm days after making fun of Texas Governor Rick Perry and his stupid pray for rain proclamation. "Hope my car is ok," she wonders.
written by Ellie James, 27 April 2011
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton Wants A Job Closer To Home
Reports coming out of the White House are that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is so tired at having to travel so much that she wants to trade jobs with Vice-President Joe Biden.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
This Television Advertising Announcement Was Actually True
A furniture store in St. Louis that advertised that it was closing and was holding a "Going Out of Business" sale actually was closing and going out of business.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
Two Governors With Two Very, Very Similar Agendas - Hmmm.
Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona and Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin have apparently been exchanging notes and they will soon be announcing that they will be having their DNA checked.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
The Royal Queen Finally Reveals Her Royal Reasons
Queen Elizabeth has revealed why she didn't invite the Obama's to the Royal Wedding. She said that she did not like Michelle giving her a high five and the president asking her "So what's up mama?"
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
Americans Go Comando
As underwear sales rise, Americans go comando. Mothers throughout America fret about what paremedics would think in case of an accident.
written by Ellie James, 27 April 2011
A Tarnished Pope
Pope John Paul II's tarnish expected to come off with baking soda and water.
written by Ellie James, 27 April 2011
Palace Admits That Kate Middleton Does Not Exist
'It's all done with CGI and animatronics,' admitted a spokesperson for Buckingham Palace. 'We can't afford to have another one divorcing, getting killed or just generally embarrassing Her Majesty.'
written by Swan Morrison, 27 April 2011
No Sex Please, We're Jihadists
A prisoner in Guantánamo Bay has said that he had to inject himself to make him impotent so that he would not be distracted by women when planning terror attacks - obviously, the Burka does not work!
written by IN SEINE, 27 April 2011
The Netherlands Is Certainly On The Right Track
In an effort to get its citizens to exercise more the Netherlands has decided to outlaw television remote controls.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
Some Sharks Can Swim For Hundreds Of Miles In One Day
A man recently found a shark fossil in a Kentucky coal mine. He noted that a miner's pick axe was found near by.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
The Movie Producer Did Not Want To Offend Colonel Gadhafi
The title of the Robert Pattinson film Water For Elephants was originally Whiskey For Camels.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
Where Oh Where Is Osama Bin Laden?
Osama Bin Laden was recently spotted in a Best Buy Electronics Store in Karachi, Pakistan purchasing a new video recorder.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
The Dallas Cowboys Prepare for Bowl
The Dallas Cowboys prepare for a different kind of bowl by opening the roof and adding 2% milk.
written by Ellie James, 27 April 2011
Cameron Uses Four-Letter Words - Three Times!
… "Calm down dear!"
written by IN SEINE, 27 April 2011
Michael Winner's Furious at Prime Minister's Remarks
Michael Winner claims that he has a super-injunction on saying "those words" that David Cameron uttered today. This in effect means that you can not say them. Ever.
written by IN SEINE, 27 April 2011
David Cameron Has Got Talent!
By today's performance in Parliament, Prime Minister David Cameron, has demonstrated that he can advertise car insurance. Fellow MPs accuse him of receiving backhanders from Esure
written by IN SEINE, 27 April 2011
William's Balls
Catherine Middleton's sister, Pippa, has allegedly questioned whether William has his own balls. She thinks the royal orbs are really Gary Glitters.
written by j.w., 27 April 2011
Charlie Sheen Will Soon Be Receiving 100 Pounds of Japan's Finest Sushi
Japanese leaders today thanked Charlie "Winning" Sheen for getting THEIR meltdown out of the top daily news stories.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
"Hey Joe, You'll Never Guess Who You Just Missed"
The latest Osama Bin Laden video shows him holding up two fingers behind Vice-President Joe Biden's head.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
LBJ Could Hear Them Whispering From 50 Feet Away
An old recently discovered diary belonging to President Lyndon Baines Johnson shows that he was big on earmarks.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
Sarah Palin Has Returned From HiddenLand
Sarah Palin endorses a new plan to use Anthrax-sniffing dogs. She quickly dodges several hundred shoes.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
Fishing Boat Nets Torpedo and Firth of Forth
A trawler netted a new torpedo in the Firth of Forth today. It had to be dealt with by Royal Naval bomb disposal teams. However, the MoD deny ownership."We haven't any ships any more!" they said.
written by IN SEINE, 27 April 2011
Imogen Thomas's singing secret is out
She's was doing gigs all last year...
written by pinxit, 27 April 2011
Health reforms Unpopular
Asked why health reforms were unpopular with 98% of nurses David Cameron said they should wake up reality and look for a really useful job like PR if they are not happy.
written by j.w., 27 April 2011
Taliban support Royal Wedding
With thousands of military personnel from Afghanistan taking part in a dress rehersal for the Royal Wedding, the Taliban are finding life easier. They will be celebrating the Wedding Day.
written by j.w., 27 April 2011
Haig and Syria
Foreign Secretary, William Hague says there is still time for Syria to go down the right fork in the road, but they must avoid killing so many people in doing so.
written by j.w., 27 April 2011
Gove pays Consultants
Government Minister, Michael Gove, has spent £21 million on consultants, it was revealed to-day. But still they don't know why he his breath smells.
written by j.w., 27 April 2011
Hearing Aid
My husband's got a new hearing aid but he can't hear a word I say. Seems happy though.
written by j.w., 27 April 2011
Gone Digital
My friends gone digital. He can't keep his hands off other people's wives.
written by j.w., 27 April 2011
Queen Elizabeth Is Trying To Bond With Kate Middleton
Queen Elizabeth reveals extremely personal Royal Family tea sipping secrets to Kate Middleton.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
Butch Patrick's Widow's Peak Still Has It
Butch Patrick, aka Eddie Munster of The Munsters has agreed to guest star on The Vampire Dairies.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
The Lesbian Couple Wanted No Part of The Salami
Noted lesbians Melissa Etheridge and Chely Wright have recorded a single called "Hey Fella You Wanna Get That Pecker Away From Me"
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
Queen Latifah Knows How To Get Down
Queen Latifah to appear in the new Bravo Network police comedy-drama television series Undercover Hotel Ho Ha Ha.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 27 April 2011
Government Issues Free Medication to the Proletariat
In an effort to appease the antipathy shown by the unemployed, sick, and aged voters - Cameron is to distribute free tubes of 'Antisceptic' Disinfectant, to be taken in conjunction with VAT rises.
written by Inchcock, 27 April 2011
Birthers Demand Birth Certificate of Disney's Prince Naveen
Prince Naveen, from Disney's Princess and the Frog is the latest Disney Prince being harassed to provide a birth certificate. Naveen states that being a frog had less controversy.
written by Ellie James, 27 April 2011
Latest Gallup Poll Picks Omerosa as Trump's Running Mate
Omerosa, the gal from the Apprentice that everyone loves to hate, is the person America wants to see as Trump's running mate if he gets the GOP nod.
written by Ellie James, 27 April 2011
No High Five
A rabid environmental group failed to get a tax on use of excessive energy, whatever that means. All they achieved was to limit their own use of toilet paper and no one will shake their hands!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 27 April 2011
Smuggle Bathtubs
Israelis help Palestinians to bathe in Gaza, by providing soap. Hamas has been so busy smuggling weapons, dressing in burqas and turning bathtubs into rockets that only one usable bathtub remains!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 27 April 2011
It's still the Lousy Economy Stupid
South American nations move to dictatorial socialism. In a few years when the populace is still starving, Peron-like right wing dictators will emerge. Then the political cycle will start over again!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 27 April 2011
There is No Free Lunch
You had to buy a beer to get a free lunch. European economies found this out, South Americans will find this out and President Obama may one day wake up to this fact of life as a one-term president!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 27 April 2011
Very Late Breaking News
Russia backs tougher nuclear safety rules 25 yrs after Chernobyl. BP will hire competent people 1 yr after the gulf oil spill. Mrs. O'Leary will keep her cow away from Chicago 140 yrs after the fire.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 27 April 2011
Arrogant Bicyclists Upset
San Francisco CA City Council may pass a law, that bicyclist's using the Golden Gate Bridge can only go 5/10 mph. Motorists say "these scofflaws are a menace during rush hours & cause accidents!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 27 April 2011
The Best Laid Plans
USDOT Secretary LaHood orders two air traffic controllers be on duty in a control tower during the graveyard shift. A couple was found sleeping together the next morning, after an emergency landing!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 27 April 2011
I'm Busy that Day
Anti-monarchy Member of Parliament (MP) turns down invitation to the Royal Wedding. The anonymous MP said we have a dental appointment we waited a year to get!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 27 April 2011
New US Department of State Questions
If you don't have a birth certificate, some sample questions passport applicants must now answer. Were you baptized or circumcised? Who was present when you were born? Where did your mother work?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 27 April 2011
American Football Season Should be Interesting
After a federal judge ended a 45-day lockout, small groups of NFL players went to their team facilities. However, the only equipment available was foam rubber footballs & bubble wrap protective gear!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 27 April 2011
Human Rights Groups Upset with the UN
Suppression of protesters since mid-March has killed more than 400 people across Syria, with 120 dead over the past weekend. Yet, Syria is a frontrunner for a seat on the UN Human Rights Council!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 27 April 2011
