Elementary Clip-joint to Open
A new barber shop has just opened on the famous Baker Street in London. It's called Shear Lock Combs.
written by IN SEINE, 22 April 2011
LPA (Little People of America) drop lawsuit against Wal Mart
The LPA dropped their recently filed lawsuit against Wal Mart when they were told that the news headline 'Wal Mart fires 4 FT employess' actually meant 4 full time employees.
written by unknown
Crucified
I go to Church and sing those hymns to get my kids a good education. I ring their bells! Then on the sacred day of Good Friday I get the bad news. My performance was for nothing. I've been crucified.
written by j.w., 22 April 2011
Tesco Helping
Tesco message to protestors in Bristol - every little helps!
written by j.w., 22 April 2011
Phew It's Hot!
Temperatures in Britain are higher than in Spain - where it has been raining. Forecasters are predicting Britain's Easter to be the hottest ever. Tourists are likely to raise temperatures even higher.
written by j.w., 22 April 2011
New Cricket Discovery for England
Helen Beard, from Worksop, who caught an infant falling from a third floor apartment in Orlando has been approached by the England cricket coach. He wants her to play for England.
written by j.w., 22 April 2011
President Unphased by Declining Approval Ratings
US President Barack Obama shrugs off his declining approval ratings and eats some Easter Peeps.
written by Ellie James, 22 April 2011
Raisins Appeal to Higher Court Today
Raisins demand same flight status as peanuts.
written by Ellie James, 22 April 2011
Apple's Secret Weapon Revealed
Secretive Steve Jobs reveals that Apple's secret strategy is simple: pears.
written by Ellie James, 22 April 2011
Kate Middleton in shop doorway drama...
Kate Middleton has spent so much time rushing around Knightsbridge lately that she was found last night fast asleep in a cardboard box outside Harrods. Apparently she couldn't remember her way home...
written by attilathehungry, 22 April 2011
Royal Wedding cancelled...
I am wholly delighted to announce that the Royal Wedding has been postponed indefinitely. The alleged cause of this setback is "insufficient Royalness" on the part of the bride. Poor old Kate...
written by attilathehungry, 22 April 2011
Royal Wedding update...
Does anyone actually know the names of the bride and groom? Such is the secrecy surrounding this event and its location that top media pundits are at a loss to predict the likely venue. Gretna Green?
written by attilathehungry, 22 April 2011
Find something else to do for goodness sake...
Anyone caught actually supporting the Royal "Hype-of-the-Millenium" Wedding should be hung by their toes over a bath full of rancid cabbage and Saturday night puke until they beg for mercy and recant.
written by attilathehungry, 22 April 2011
Sir Cliff Richard to marry Janet Street-Porter...
Now there's a match made in Hell. An ageing popstar with dodgy hair and a mouth full of crowns, and a weird bird with a voice like a rusty hacksaw and teeth that would terrify anyone's manhood...
written by attilathehungry, 22 April 2011
Irish jockey to officiate at Wills & Kate's wedding...
Legendary Irish jump jockey Paddy O'Feckit will perform William and Kate's marriage ceremony. The BNP unanimously voted him "the man least likely to get it right" which should liven things up a bit.
written by attilathehungry, 22 April 2011
Spanish nude gym offers extra penis and boob insurance!
A new Spanish gym offering nudist facilities has insured its punters private parts, especially penis's and boobs, they tend to get squashed if the weights slip, OUCH!
written by unknown
Easter Holidaymakers Face Smog Warning
Thousands of holidaymakers in Britain face a smog warning as pollution rises. Meanwhile, people are warned that when they see David Cameron or Nick Clegg on TV it could well be a SMUG warning.
written by IN SEINE, 22 April 2011
Nothing Worse Than A Non-Quacking Duck
A farmer in Kansas has discovered that some of his ducks have been afflicted with Mad Duck Disease. He noted that for some reason instead of quacking his ducks are mooing.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 April 2011
This Is Great For Those Watching Their Caloric Intake
Research scientists in Poland have just made an amazing discovery. They have discovered calories that actually contain no calories.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 April 2011
The iPad Scam Is Giving Bernie Madoff's Ponzi Scheme Some Competition
iPad 3 will be released in four days. iPad 4 will then be released five days after that. And then iPad 5, will be introduced six days after iPad 5 hits the stores.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 April 2011
The Tattoo Business Is Getting Out Of Hand
Tucson police arrest a couple for having the words Dora The Explorer tattooed on their two month old baby. State authorities said if the tattoo had read Ying Ying The Weasel it would have been okay.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 April 2011
Popular Dance Craze Sweeps West Virginia
The Hock-a-Loogie Boogie becomes a hit among the hillbillies! Snort back some phlegm and spit it from between your few teeth, into the face of someone who's slept with your sister (besides yourself).
written by Pariah, 22 April 2011
Little Orphan Annie Sued Over Bad Financial Advice
A Class action suit is being made against the inept orphan who stated, "Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun." Many following this advice awoke to rain, snow, or sleet instead of sun.
written by Pariah, 22 April 2011
Rihanna Speaks Out
"I was a bitch to Russell Brand," says Rihanna, "because he was a bitch to me."
written by Auntie Matter, 22 April 2011
