Startling Statistics About American Medical Industry
In a recent study, it was determined that 50% of all doctors in the United States graduated in the lower half of their graduating class.
written by Pariah, 21 April 2011
Texans Forget The Alamo
"We were so busy with everything else in our lives, it simply slipped our minds," one local noted. The error was discovered by tourists encountering a Walgreens where the historic landmark had been.
written by Pariah, 21 April 2011
Jockey Sent To Looney Bin
A champion jockey was committed to a lunatic asylum today after completing 10 races at 4 different racecourses in 8 hours. He told the nurse that he was 'Thor'. They did not know he had a lisp.
written by IN SEINE, 21 April 2011
Headbutting Disabled Gran Wins
In an unequal contest between a disabled 5ft Gran and three youths in Barnstaple, Devon the tough grandma won the day. A lad with a broken nose complained that people should think about the victim.
written by j.w., 21 April 2011
The Tea Bag Party Goes Country
Political Square Dance: The Tea Bag Party turns right again as President Obama turns to the middle, so y'all grab your gal and listen to the fickle fiddle.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 April 2011
"Nighty Night" Is Not A Good Thing To Hear During One's Shift
A surprise search of an air traffic controller's locker at Chicago's O'Hare Airport reveals a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) Device.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 April 2011
The $5 A Gallon Price Is All Part of A Greater Agenda
President Obama says $5 a gallon gas will force more individuals to walk, pollute less, buy fewer groceries, and lose weight, so according to Barry, it really ain't all that bad.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 April 2011
Gilbert Gottfried Has Reared His Ugly Mug Again
A mixture of good news/bad news for Gilbert Gottfried. The bad news is that he lost his job as the voice of the Aflac duck. The good news is he is now next on the list for a total face transplant.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 April 2011
Wenger hits back at disgruntled Arsenal fans
'Luke on zee positif side. We 'ave no trophies to be run over weez a bus!'
written by pinxit, 21 April 2011
Ring! Ring! Ring!
A 600-pound woman was caught at the U.S. - Mexico border in El Paso trying to smuggle 42 counterfeit cell phones. Customs agents became suspicious when they noticed her anal cavity was ringing.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 April 2011
Buy Me Some Popcorn and Cracker Jacks But Not Beer
Due to extensive brawls which have broken out in the stands, fans at Detroit Tiger home games will not be allowed to buy beer. They can however buy all the expensive tequila they want.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 April 2011
Britney Spears Talks Candidly About Her Weight Gain
Britney Spears revealed to USA TODAY that she has gained so much weight lately that her love handles now have love handles.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 April 2011
Okay, First It's Bingo Wings - Can Muffin Tops Be Too Far Off?
The Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce has outlawed 'Bingo Wings.' Dozens of women are very upset since they will probably now have to move to Burbank.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 April 2011
The Reason Why NASCAR Said "Adios" To Arizona
NASCAR has decided to leave Arizona because Governor Jan Brewer has banned nachos from the state. And racing fans know that nothing goes better with beer than a plate of hot jalapeno nachos.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 April 2011
Africa - The Land of Lions, Zebras, Jungle Vines, and Meddling Buffaranda
Word coming out of Africa is that the country of Dutch West Wakaboonka is considering invading Buffaranda on the grounds of Buffaranda not minding its own business.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 April 2011
Jay Leno Vs. David Letterman
In a move to end their long time feud Jay Leno will appear on The David Letterman Show and read The Top Ten List. And along the same vein, next week Sarah Palin will French kiss Kathy Griffin.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 April 2011
Susan Boyle - Not Only A Great Singer, But A Great Businesswoman As Well
SuBoSox, (named after Scottish songstress Susan Boyle) have just become the world's top selling brand of socks.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 21 April 2011
Mom Loses it over The Wiggles
A 22 year old mother of 3 locks herself in room and refuses to come out of her room. "If I have to listen to Fruit Salad Yummy Yummy again I'll go crazy!"
written by Ellie James, 21 April 2011
Procrastinators Anonymous Meeting To Be Held
Procrastinators Anonymous will be rescheduling the meeting that was post-poned from last month to sometime in the near future at a place and time that are yet to be determined.
written by Pariah, 21 April 2011
Woman And Three Fishermen Found
An attractive woman who went to sea for a week in a boat with three fishermen, came home with one red snapper.
written by Pariah, 21 April 2011
US says Goodbye to Color Coded Terror Alerts
As the US phases out color coded terror alerts, American citizens must get used to the new way. Homeland security officials plan on just driving around and yelling in a megaphone.
written by Ellie James, 21 April 2011
New Marketing Campaign For Proctologists
To promote healthy colon/rectal health, the Association for Proctology announced it's new ad campaign: "You may try to avoid your proctologist, but he'll get you in the end!"
written by Pariah, 21 April 2011
International Conference For Doctors Of Urology
International Urology Association conference July 12 in China along the banks of the Yellow River. Renowned urologist I.P. Freeley will present the key speech "Learnig to go with the flow."
written by Pariah, 21 April 2011
Foreign Contributions to Obama's 2008 Campaign
A RNC complaint that Obama for America accepted donations from foreign nationals is part of an FEC spending investigation. Potential presidential candidate Trump was seen exhibiting a big grin!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 April 2011
Booze and Taxes
Pres. Obama wants to increase taxes to reduce deficits. This is like giving alcoholics money for food, as they will buy drinks & Obama will squander the money on foolish Democratic liberal programs!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 April 2011
Stupid Education Policies
School Administrators seem to be able to dictate food choices for children's brown bag lunches. However, when it comes to protecting children, zero tolerance of plastic butter knives fails miserably!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 April 2011
Attention Desired
Hamas indicates al Qaeda is not present in Gaza. Then who is Hamas shooting at, trying to capture and calling al Qaeda members?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 April 2011
Statistics
The odds of electing the USA's worst president in history were one in forty four. Yep!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 April 2011
Nothing Out of the Ordinary
100 rabid environmentalists found in Texas with their heads up their asses. Texas State Troopers indicate this is normal for these loony activists!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 April 2011
Rejected by Congress and the Supreme Court
King Obama I to issue an executive order (royal edict) for government contractors to disclose political campaign contributions, but government employee unions are exempt from the requirement!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 April 2011
Anybody but Obama Ahead
The latest presidential poll taken today indicates that "anybody but Obama" appears to be leading all 2012 prospective Republican and Democratic candidates!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 21 April 2011
