More elderly Japanese turn to petty crime
In an attempt to reduce Elder Crime the Japanese have started a new Kamikaze program, targeting Japanese Nursing Homes
written by disciple, 24 December 2008
Santa Clause Arrested
He was charged with "bestiality" and cruelty to animals after being caught with Rudolf in a Lewd act.
written by disciple, 24 December 2008
Alternative to Queen's Speech on Immigrant TV
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will deliver the alternative to the Queen's Christmas Day speech this year on Immigrant TV. The speech will also be shown on Channel 4.
written by IN SEINE, 24 December 2008
Comedian Frank Skinner to make programme on swearing
UK Comedian Frank Skinner is to make a special edition of BBC's Panorama programme about swearing on television. It will be 24 hours long and will only feature last week's BBC programmes.
written by IN SEINE, 24 December 2008
Royal Family Suffers Shits & Sickness
The Queen´s Christmas turkey is to make the traditional speech after her Majesty & Prince Philip came down with the Norovirus. "I will be inserting a Royal Cork in the Duke´s arse." She said.
written by Fuctifino, 24 December 2008
Postman's Sack Savaged.
The two Rottweilers that savaged a postman delivering Christmas mail admitted it was the best Christmas present they'd ever had.
written by Fuctifino, 24 December 2008
Unknown Shooter Mad About Something
A report from the north pole says that on a trial run over the United States last night an unknown person has shot Santa Claus in the face.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Something After Schwarzenegger
In California this morning, eyewitnesses say something big and slimey crawled out of the La Brea Tar Pits and began chasing Governor Schwarzenegger.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Confused Jimmy Carter
A very confused Jimmy Carter has been found wandering around Georgia looking for Russians. Police say he keeps repeating, "They've got Billy and Mama."
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Nigerian Bank Prospering
The First National Bank Of Nigeria say their fifth quarter earnings are up nearly 50 percent but you need to invest as soon as possible.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Rodney Still No Respect
Rodney Dangerfield is still getting no respect as his grave is daily pooped on while people are out walking dogs through cemetery and cats marking territory.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Texas Law Ruled Cruel
The Supreme Court ruled 5-4 yesterday that the Texas "Praying For Death" sentence was cruel and unusual punishment.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Mormons Protest Cartoons
Riots continued into the third day in a row in Phoenix, Arizona as Mormons protest Joseph Smith cartoons in the Phoenix Sun.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Lawn Chair Balloonist Feared Lost
Helium balloonist in lawn chair believe lost after balloons stray over Washington, DC and sudden hot air gusts launched him 20,000 feet up.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Trail Easy To Follow
Rescuers first on the scene report that the big rock that fell on missing mountain climber near summit made an imprint of his body in the snow all the way down the mountainside.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Utah Residents Losing Homes
Thousands in Utah lose their homes as the Mormon Church investigation reveals thousands are up to three year's behind in tithes and penalties.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Autopsy Completed
The autopsy is now complete on last week's school shooter as doctors reveal that the suspect had a past history of heavy wedging.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Notre Dame Preseason Favorite
In sports, it was announced this morning that next season Notre Dame will play an exhibition football game against the College of Cardinals.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Fisticuffs In Afghanistan
The American Conservative Magazine says that there could be further fisticuffs happening between the United States and Afghanistan in the future.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Sausage Lab Discovery
Researchers at the Jimmy Dean Sausage laboratories say they may have accidentally discovered the missing link.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Genetic Connection To Obesity
Scientists discover genetic connection to obesity: Parents, Grandparents also made daily trips to the Krispy Kreme.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Al's Next Movie Preview
Al Gore in next movie: "Now notice what will happen when all the hot air coming from Rush Limbaugh here meets that of the iceberg, Hillary Clinton."
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Eskimos Set Afloat
Hundreds of old Eskimos set afloat on ice floes to die, show up at Miami Beach, having a ball watching women playing beach volleyball. Think they're in next life.
written by Bureau, 24 December 2008
Sign of the Times?
A UK Stationary chain of shops has come up with a brilliant idea and produced a calendar for 'THE MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING' so that he can be reminded of when the payments are due!
written by IN SEINE, 24 December 2008
Dubai 'Sex on Beach' Woman to Write a Book
Michelle Palmer, the woman accussed of having sex on the beach inn Dubai is to write a book called "True Grit" under the pseudonym Sandy Knob.
written by IN SEINE, 24 December 2008
Iraq shows promise in World Welly Wanging championships
Muntader al-Zaidi, the man who threw a shoe a Georrge Bush has been recruited by the Iraqi team to compete in the World Welly Wanging championships to be held in Skipton, Yorkshire, next year.
written by IN SEINE, 24 December 2008
Pope attacks blurring of gender
He said "women wearing hats" and the "Scottish wearing dresses" will be the down fall of the human race, even more then religion
written by disciple, 24 December 2008
