Microsoft Announces Windows 8

Written by Roy Turse

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

image for Microsoft Announces Windows 8
Windows 8 will support three concurrent users

Microsoft Corporation today announced the imminent release of Windows 8, the follow-up operating system to Windows 7.

Features include improved speed provided you upgrade to a higher-performance processor, and a much faster shutdown, known as 'blue screen of power off'. It will also include the new Macalike graphical user interface and a file sharing system that any user can set up, simply by editing the registry. Minimum system requirements will be $1800.

Industry pundits believe that Microsoft are pre-empting the potential criticism of Windows 7 by announcing Windows 8. One technical journalist told us "After Vista was announced as the solution to everyone's XP woes and then failed to deliver, Microsoft must have been worried that Windows 7 might do the same."

Over the next few weeks the release schedule for Windows 8 will become clear. "If Windows 7 is seen as a success, then Windows 8 is planned for release in 2013," Microsoft explained, "If not, it will probably begin shipping in January."

Windows 8 will be available in three versions:

  • Trailer Sub-Premium
  • Double-income Home Super and
  • Corporate Amex Pro-tastic

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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