Los Angeles - (Alien Ass Mess): Fabled alien autopsy specialist Ray Santilli hopes to add Michael Jackson to his tally of extraterrestrial post-mortems having already cleaned up with Anna Nicole Smith and Jade Goody.
Santilli flew last night into LA aremd with his trademark toolkit of butcher's saw, car winch and patent brass nutcrackers.
Media sources speculated today that the intrepid mortician is still feeling sore after losing out on the recent David Carradine autopsy to the LA Department of Suspicious Deaths.
Some of his work is still classified by the White House, including his postmortem findings on Ronald Reagan.
"We're hoping to palm him off with a few future booking sweeteners," LA state pathologists said today, "like, maybe, a forward IOU on the Pope or - more likely - Sen Ted Kennedy....if we're very lucky!"