Washington AC/DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): US President Barack Obama has spoken for the first time about the secret geneaological links between himself and the tribute act who made such a killing as singer Michael Jackson.
"We were brothers under the skin," Obama commented, fidgeting uncomfortably with his nicotine patch.
"Guess I never mentioned it before, huh? Well, kinda modesty issue really.
"Plus, it wouldn't have been fair to capitalise on my family connections, in the run up to the White House.
"But Michelle, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, General Colon Bowel, George Tenet - they sure all knew!"
The President is expected to read the Lesson at Jackson's funeral next Monday at the Bel Air Hellfire Tabernacle.
Rahm Emanuel is shitting bricks.