NASA HQ, Groom Lake, Nevada - (An Inconvenient Spoof Mess): "Hell, we are screwed!" was the only comment from NASA spokesman George Diller as the Agency's flagship Orbiting Carbon Observatory global warning (sic) satellite was blasted to smithereens by an unexplicable gamma ray blast shortly after take off today.
The $280 million Taurus XL rocket-powered space monitor appeared to have come into contact with a 'malevolent' UFO shortly after blast-off according to tracking devices at California's Vandenberg Air Force Base.
The Observatory's remains then crashed into the ocean near Antarctica obliterating an entire endangered species colony of Emperor King penguins.
Alsodestroyed were some 600 polar bears, a shoal of mating blue orcas, the world's last remaining 25 Patagonian toothfish, the washed up remains of Argentina's Falklands War flagship the General Belgrano and Captain Scott of the Antarctic's Grade-II lited Nissen hut.
A 200 ft tidal wave was later reported to have partially engulfed the icy World Heritage Site triggering countless tsunami alerts in South America.
Prof Stephen Hawking is a cosmic genius.