Chandler, Texas - (X-Files Mess): "Total crap!" is how Henderson County Sheriff Ray Nutt (sic? no kidding!) described reports of UFO gamma ray burst activity above the Houston morgue from where the body of Waco cult leader David Koresh's mother disappeared.
Bonnie Clark Halderman, 69, had been found dead at a relative's house following weeks of frenetic sky-gazing.
Her Chandler sky-watch group had been following Comet Holmes-Tuttle which some believed was cloaking a predatory craft hellbent on raiding Koresh's grave at the Memorial Park Cemetery in Tyler, Texas.
President George W Bush's Texan new home, some five miles away from the Tyler site, has long been rumored to be connected via a vast Pentagon-erected subterranean tunnel network linking to the Groom Lake X-Files facility known as Area 51.
Bush's soon to be ex-London ambassador Robert 'Katie' Holmes-Tuttle was said to be livid after NASA named the latest comet sighting after him.