Written by Bureau

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

image for UFO's Caused By Burped, Farted Soft Drinks?
Did Burped Soft Drink Cause This?

A just released report from some hot air experts in the field, could explain that mysterious UFO sightings go hand in hand with a puzzling natural phenomenon known as sprites - flashes high in the atmosphere triggered by thunderstorms in clouds that contain burped and fizzled soft drinks.

According to the report from Israel, the dancing and going hand in hand lights have appeared above most thunderstorms throughout history, but researchers did not start studying them until one accidentally recorded a sighting on camera in 1959. Forty years and fifteen million dollars in funding later, they think they've studied it enough to give an opinion or, at least, a reasonable guess.

"Lightning from the thunderstorm excites the electric field above, producing a flash of burped soft drink light called a sprite," said Colin Fudge, a geophysicist at Tel Aviv University in Israel. "We now understand that only a specific type of lightning is the trigger that initiates burped sprites aloft."

"Before the sprite soft drink, those may have been seven up there causing the sightings.

Researchers have detected the flashes between 35 and 80 miles from the ground, far above the 7 to 10 miles where usual lightning occurs. Sprites can take the form of fast-paced balls of electricity.

"These 'face-paced balls of electricity' may have been what people have credited to aliens examining their family jewels," stated one Professor Verne.

"This brings on the questions of tornadoes being caused by mountain dew, especially the real stuff mostly created in the United States, the place where almost all tornadoes occur."

"Also, there were almost no UFO sightings before soft drinks were invented and released back into the atmosphere."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: UFO, soda, Soft Drink




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