Winchester-- The DNA of Queen Victoria is to be used to resurrect Her Highness for the 21st Century. The resurrection project is of the highest priority for Queen Elizabeth II. The current queen believes her son Charles and grandsons are not fit to wear the crown and she must look to the past for her successor.
"I am so dreadfully disappointed in my son-- that tosser! I wish my two grandsons were never born--those little wankers. I do not plan to leave them a farthing in my will." said HRH. "This so-called Victoria Project will be the Crown's salvation and the Royal line can continue for centuries. Britain deserves only the best." said the queen.
Victoria's DNA came from an snot-filled handkerchief she gave to a servant in 1863. The servant's family kept it for generations and turned it over to the Victoria Project at the queen's request. Researchers also have a pair of dirty underwear form Prince Albert and they are preparing to clone him too.
The new Victoria will be born in 2010, noted the queen. She will then adopt the baby girl. The cloned Albert is expected to be born in 2011. If everything goes as planned Queen Elizabeth II will be born again by the dawn of the 22nd Century.
"I plan to live forever. My Royal subjects deserve only the best!" said the queen. "When I am born again I will have myself sterilized. I won't make the same mistake again!" she declared.