Politicians Against Artificial Intelligence, ANY Intellegince

Funny story written by Bureau

Friday, 2 January 2009

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"Dollar Mister? My Brain Hurts!"

American researchers say they are a step closer to making a computer that mimics the thought process of human beings.

"This is a demonstration of what's possible when circuits compute in biological ways," said Massachusetts Institute of Technology professor Bindu Raskesharani . However, he admits, "We're still far away from building a brain, so you can quit the "roughing up" of our scientists."

Bindu later told an Associated Press reporter that he was referring to some of their group being hassled by police and thugs hired by politicians to threaten them and to vandalize their lab equipment.

"But why are they hired to do this?", asked the reporter.

"They realize that if we come up with a really good computer-human brain hookup, the average Joe out there will begin to think a little deeper and most of those in our government don't want their people thinking at all. They want them to keep paying taxes without questioning and putting people in congress that will become wealthy and powerful."

"But wouldn't the invention improve mental health patients?"

"Yes it would and that would reverse the dumbing down of America. Just turn on the TV. There are Gumbys graduating from high school."

"By the way, their brains do NOT hurt. That's a "phantom limb" thing. There's no brain there to hurt."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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