Written by Bureau

Sunday, 14 December 2008

image for WallyMart Hiring Low IQ
"Welcome To WallyMart! Welcome To WallyMart!!"

Barton, Arkansas- You probably have already noticed it some time ago but WallyMart has been hiring employees from Mental Health facilities and earning for themselves some great publicity, but there's actually more to the story according to WWGG TV undercover correspondant, Harley Dinwitty:

They hire those people because they will work cheap. They put the slowest ones up front and tell them, 'You push out the cart. Smile! Smile!' and that's all they do all day.

Remember, the public know not to ask questions because they will only get a smile and of course, they'll realize this is a special employee and smile back.

Then, all over the store whenever someone needs help, that person can look at a list or play back a tape and do exactly what it says. This is tolerated usually by the customer because this is another special employee.

If they'd check, they'd find out they are ALL special employees with a scattering of higher IQ overseers.

I actually went there myself and bought a few things. The people on the registers are Idiot-Savant and don't even need a cash register.

One amazing thing is that, when I compared my shopping there to a competing store, I got out sooner and cheaper.

One employee at SmartMart told me to go stuff my 21 items, in their "20 or Less" fast checkout line, up my ass!

This is Harley Dinwiddy, WWGG TV.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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