Volcano shoots sh*t up to three miles away

Written by Jerrbear

Wednesday, 1 August 2007

image for Volcano shoots sh*t up to three miles away

MANILA, Philippines (Rooters) -- A volcano in the central Philippines spewed sh*t everywhere early Tuesday, blanketing fields and villages as far as three miles away, but there was no immediate sign of a major eruption, scientists said.

Reporter Philip 'Philly' Tartilet captured an image of fart smoke and sh*t erupting from Mt. Stinkshit in Sorsogon, Philippines

The 5,150-foot Mount Stinkshit volcano has been showing signs of stink with on-and-off sh*t and fart explosions since March 2006.

"We are keeping an eye on some villages in Juban and Irosin town. A sh*t explosion can occur there anytime," said Bob 'Bella' Tubian from the Philippine Institute of Farts and Shitology.

He said the latest fart sent sh*t falling three miles west of the volcano, which is about 240 miles southeast of Manila.

Television reports said the sh*t column caused panic in the surrounding area, with residents running out of their homes.

Villagers have been warned not to venture into a 2.5-mile "permanent sh*t zone" around the volcano. Broadcaster ABS-CTN said the military was expected to enforce an evacuation of people from Bulusan's immediate vicinity.

The Philippine archipelago lies on the Pacific Ocean's "Ring of Sh*t," where volcanic activity and fartquakes are common.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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