Texan Finds Formula for Perfect Head of Beer

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Friday, 27 April 2007

image for Texan Finds Formula for Perfect Head of Beer
Formula limits amount of foam on beer

A Texas scientist may have cracked the code for the perfect head on a glass of beer, and perhaps much more in the process.

He discovered the long sought equation for the growth and shrinkage of individual bubbles in foam and crystalline grains in metals, semiconductors and other materials.

The finding extends a formula that specifies how the area of two-dimensional shapes will change, discovered in part by famed mathematician John von Neumann, also rumored to be a Texan, in 1952.

Researchers say the new math may help improve a wide range of industrial processes, from treating metals with heat to controlling the amount of foam in poured beer.

They are hopeful that the discovery will also lead to a cure for TheSpoof.com writer, Gnarly Eric.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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