HARFOLD, Vt - In an article published this week in the Northeast Kingdom Journal of Science, Dr. Mary Jane Hempstead, chemistry instructor at Harfold State College, reported on what is believed to be the first effective treatment for TDR, otherwise known as Trump Derangement Syndrome.
In numerous clinical trials among the student body at Harfold State College, the new drug called Delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, or Delta-9 for short, was shown to have remarkable effects in combating TDR.
The study illustrates how consuming the drug, in both inhalant and edible form, leads to an overall feeling of calm and serenity in the worst of times. The results in both the control (MAGA Republicans) and experimental groups (Democrats and all normal Republicans who are simply bullshit over what their party has become) were virtually the same.
After an hour spent watching clips between Fox News and MSNBC, Dr. Hempstead then presented participants with reminders of high egg prices, the President's love affair with Vladimir Putin, and the administration's insistence on defying Supreme Court decisions. Participants either then smoked a cigarette or ate a brownie laced with high dosages of Delta-9.
Said Dr. Hempstead, "When you're as high as a kite, it's hard to focus on disturbing headlines, the price of eggs, and those cost-per-gallon signs at gas stations as you're whizzing by."
