Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump illegally tweeted these tweets while sitting in his master bedroom at Mar-a-Lago, while Melania was traipsing all over Southern California.
TWEET 1 - I am very pissed off at Elon Musk. He promised me that he was going to buy Twitter for $44 Billion - and then he would remove my ban, and he would let me say whatever fucking crazy shit I felt like saying.
TWEET 2 - I miss Melania so damn much. The Slovenian babe has got a fantastic pair of legs that start at her ankles and go all the way up to her "Como Se Llama!"
TWEET 3 - Monica Lewinsky, yes THE Monica Lewinsky, called me up and asked "Hey what's up Tiger?" I have to say that the woman does have a wonderfully accommodating mouth - I can certainly see why old Bill (Clinton) loved having her around the Oval Office.
TWEET 4 - My dear sweet little piece of paradise, Ivanka who has been my one and only true love, has disappointed me like no one has before. I still recall the hundreds of times that she would sit on my lap and I would bounce her up and down and tell her that one day daddy was going to be the king and she would be the princess...but NOOOOO!
TWEET 5 - Marjorie Taylor Greene told me that she still has wet dreams about me. Yes, I know that she's a scrawny bitch, but hey, she's MY scrawny bitch!.
TWEET 6 - I haven't heard from Maria Bartiromo in a while. The last time she called she told me that I was the cat's meow. I've never really understood what that means - I mean is it a good thing or what?
TWEET 7 - Last night, while I was sunning out by one of the Mar-a-Lago pools, Junior's, fiancée, Kimberly Guilfoyle came up to me in her skimpy red MAGA bikini swimsuit, bent over right in front of me, and she told me to make a wish. I wonder what the hell THAT is all about. But hell, you know me. I'm the original horn dog, so I'm gonna check it out.
"See y'all next month, when I might announce that I am getting ready to run for president again!" -DONALD JONATHAN ERASMUS TRUMP
