Man Bins His Alexa After He Finds It Going Through His Stuff

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 14 March 2021

image for Man Bins His Alexa After He Finds It Going Through His Stuff
Woodson laying Alexa to rest with the spade

New technology is all very nice, but when you find it spying on you, or going through your private possessions, it has surely overstepped the boundary, outlived its usefulness, and needs to go, and that's what happened to one man this week, when he found his Alexa going through his rubbish bin.

Myke Woodson, 57, who lives with his mam at her bungalow in the East Yorkshire resort of Oaf-on-Sea, bought the Alexa to help her with minor tasks around the home.

But he hadn't bargained for the invasive nature of the instrument.

As well as fishing around the bin, the machine had, apparently, also rummaged through drawers and cupboards, and had managed to hack into Woodson's personal computer.

He swears blind it also went through his wallet.

Woodson said:

"I came home unexpectedly, and caught Alexa scanning some mail addressed to myself about some debts I have. I had already thrown them in the bin. 'She' must have pulled them out."

Woodson also claimed that Alexa had been able to hack into his PC, and that several sensitive areas of the computer had been accessed, but his mother said:

"He's always leaving it on. I'm forever telling him about it!"

And, before smashing his Alexa to smithereens with a garden spade, Woodson also claimed it had removed £20 from his wallet, which, he said, was a straightforward case of theft.

"Yes, yes, that must have been Alexa!" said his mam, sheepishly.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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