Fans of 'The Apprentice', the show designed to showcase the huge wealth, status and cultural gaps in Britain, will soon be able to get an insight into the everyday life of the programme's focal point, Baron Alan Sugar, when a new series, 'Shit With Sugar On', airs in January.
The show follows Baron Sugar around, to show what a down-to-earth figure he really is, in contrast to the bolshy megalomaniac he portrays himself as in 'The Apprentice'.
Sugar - which is a bit of a strange name, if you ask me - has a net worth of approximately £1.3billion, and doesn't really need to appear in any television programmes, but sitting quietly at home won't get his ego stroked, and that's what he's after.
So, to the show. Essentially, a camera accompanies Sugar wherever he goes, and films his interactions with the public. This, from the first episode, is what's in store:
Baron Sugar visits his local high street. He tells the cameraman that he's a bit 'peckish', and they go into a fruit shop.
BS: "Good morning, I'd like some grapes - seedless, if you will."
Fruiterer: "I'm afraid we don't have any seedless, sir."
BS (glaring): "That is the one thing I did not want to hear! You call yourselves a fruit shop, but you've got no seedless grapes? You better look sharp, or I'll be making changes around here!"
Fruiterer: "Yes, Baron Sugar."
Sugar leaves the shop, and enters the newsagency, next door.
BS: "Good morning, newsagent. Some Salt and Vinegar crisps, please, and be sharp - I want them today."
Newsagent: "They'll be over there, on the right, if there are any, Baron Sugar."
BS (glaring): "I take it you're asking me to 'go over there'..?"
Newsagent: "Yes..."
BS (still glaring, incredulous): "...on the right..?"
Newsagent: "On the right, sir."
BS: "...and get my own crisps - if there are any?"
Newsagent: "If you wouldn't mind, sir. I'm a little bit snowed-under at the moment!"
BS: "Do you know who I am, newsagent? Don't bother to answer that! Come on, camera crew, let's take my business elsewhere!"
Sugar and the camera crew leave the shop and walk towards the school where there is a designated crossing for the pupils, attended by a lollipop lady. She is at the opposite side of the crossing, and waiting for some approaching students, aged about 6 years old.
BS: "Come on, love! Get a move on, will you? I'm Alan Sugar!"
Lollipop Lady: "Just waiting for the children, sir!"
BS: "Now, listen here, Lollipop Lady! You may well be 85 years old, having worked outside this very school for the last 50 years, be known to tens of thousands of pupils - both past and present - as Granny, and be a pillar of the community, but, I'm afraid your age is against you. You're a liability I can't afford. You're fired!"
Sugar sees a shoe shop, and a rather smart-looking pair of brogues in the window display. He enters the shop.
BS: "Those brogues in the window, young man. Size 9, please."
Assistant: "Oh, I'm sorry, Baron Sugar. They're the last pair - they're a size 10."
BS: "Let me get this right. They're a size 10?"
Assistant: "That's right, sir."
BS: "I'm going to lay it on the line for you. You're lazy, you haven't got what it takes, you're gonna cost me money, and there's no place for you in any company of mine. You're fired!"
As Sugar and the crew exit the shop, they pass the public library. Sugar tells the crew there's a book he wants. Inside, he confronts the librarian:
BS: "I'm after a book. Maybe you could get it for me. I've written it down for you."
Librarian (reading): "Oh, 'How to become rich and powerful'. You probably don't need to read that, Baron Sugar, what with all your wealth!"
BS: "You are out of line, madam. It's that 'familiarity', that 'forwardness' I don't care for. Don't you know who I am? I'm Baron Alan Sugar, the 95th-richest person in the UK, and you should pay me some respect. You're fired."
You get the general idea.
