FDA Reviews Previously Denied Drug Applications

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Sunday, 5 March 2017


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Hillary Clinton is at peace since she's been taking an anti-anxiety drug specifically for Russian hacking, rooskypheliafacit.

Stocks are soaring for pharmaceutical companies as the FDA looks at easing regulatory restrictions for bringing new drugs to market.

Even better for Big Pharma, the FDA will review drug applications that were denied in the past.

But there are many questions about the new policies and some of the proposed drugs and treatments are of dubious value and may be unethical, dangerous, and even illegal.

Here are just some of the drug applications that have been submitted and resubmitted to the FDA:

Octophobinix - Treats irrational fear of the number 8

Prixopoften - An ED drug that caused several test subjects to have sex till they died of heart failure.

Agrocaine - Causes paranoia and aggressiveness with out the other annoying side effects of cocaine.

Rimulax - An extremely powerful laxative approved and sold as Amberjet in the UK. Accidental overuse has landed scores in UK hospitals.

Rooskypheliafacit - Treats anxiety over Russia's hacking.

- An extremely powerful antidiarrheal suppository, one test subject was constipated for three weeks after a single treatment with the drug.

- A proposed suicide drug, not yet approved, but being used for execution by lethal injection in Oklahoma, Texas and Colorado.

Afflexatone - Helps actors apologize for accepting bad movie roles.

Altrulorium - One of the so called "love drugs," users experience a powerful euphoria and a desire to give away their possessions. This drug has a high potential for use and abuse at parties. In 2013 three Las Vegas casinos paid millions in fines without admitting any guilt and agreed to stop pumping the drug in aerosol form in to their gaming rooms.

Leo Warfeld, a trader for Beachem & Proffit, says buyers need to do their homework before jumping in to pharmaceutical stocks.

"Know the markets and how the laws are changing: Expirirar is not going anywhere for as long as suicide is illegal in most countries; Prixopoften and Altrulorium are poised to make money if approved; Schenzen Pharmaceutical Industries will be a hot property if their Russian hacking anti-anxiety drug rooskypheliafacit is approved."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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