The faculty of neuroscience at Liberty University has just received a patent for a new psychiatric medication called "Inspiron", which promises to enhance the spirituality of mental patients.
Research chair Samuel Isaiah explained to reporters that, unlike any other drug currently available to psychiatrists, Inspiron is intended to help those poor souls who don't hear little voices in their heads. "For", he asked, "how can those who are deaf to the inner voice receive the Holy Spirit?"
Isaiah went on to explain that during clinical trials, subjects who received Inspiron proceeded to prophesy, speak in tongues, and engage in conversations with God, while control subjects who received a placebo uttered uninspired statements like: "Look, it's my head, ain't nobody inside it but me. Do you think I'm some kind of nut who invents imaginary characters and proceeds to engage them in conversation? "
FDA approval is expected to be unanimous. The lone dissenter, Dr. Floyd Sigmund, suddenly saw the light after other panel members surreptitiously dissolved an Inspiron tablet in his coffee.