The Only Way is Essex? There's an App for that

Written by IainB

Thursday, 30 October 2014

image for The Only Way is Essex? There's an App for that
It is up to the consumer to ensure even coverage

The cast of The Only Way Is Essex (or TOWIE for those that can't string a sentence together) are known for a few things, one of which is their permanent, all year round, unfading, tan.

Previously, this has required a series of expensive trips to a Tanning Salon, with a name like "Tans-in-here" or "Tan Gerine". No more, with the introduction of the TOWIE-Tan-App from Lincolnshire based iPhone app creators, The Only Way Is Apps and their latest creation, Cosmopol-iTan.

"This is great," said a bronzed, healthy looking editor of AppWorld!, Max Buck. "I've been using this app none-stop for a week now, and I look like I live in Florida."

Buck lives in California.

The app uses the latest iPhone screen facilities to produce an intense UVB light at the precise frequency required to cause tanning in skin.

"The only downside is ensuring that you get an even tan," said Buck. "The back of my legs look like I'm from east Africa, but the front looks like I'm from Iceland. It's an interesting effect."

Although The Only Way Is Apps claim that the app is perfectly safe, and comes equipped with a small 'ding' noise to indicate when you're done, there are concerns about the over use of the app.

"There have been concerns with extended use of the app," said Buck. "Some have said that it can reduce intelligence. I've not noticed this, and the app is amaze-balls."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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