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Funny satire stories about tanning beds

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The Only Way is Essex? There's an App for that

Funny story: The Only Way is Essex? There's an App for that

The cast of The Only Way Is Essex (or TOWIE for those that can't string a sentence together) are known for a few things, one of which is their permanent, all year round, unfading, tan. Previously, this has required a series of expensive trips to a...

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Jersey Shore's "The Situation" Arrested for Fighting at Tanning Salon

Middletown, NJ - Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, who gained notoriety on MTV's classy show Jersey Shore, was arrested for fighting with his own brother at a local tanning salon that the pair own together. Apparently, the double douchebags cam...

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John Boehner Found Mummified in Tanning Bed

Washington D.C. - Speaker of the House, John Boehner, known for his orange hue and lack of spine when it comes to politics, was found this weekend in a dried-out, mummified state inside a tanning bed at a local salon. The Republican congressman fr...

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California Woman Gives Birth To Twins While On A Tanning Bed

Funny story: California Woman Gives Birth To Twins While On A Tanning Bed

BEVERLY HILLS - In a story that could only come out of The Left Coast state of California, Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that a Santa Monica woman identified as Madison V. Ricotta has just given birth to twins. The thing that makes this an unus...

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Paula Deen Getting That Huge Navel Orange Look

Funny story: Paula Deen Getting That Huge Navel Orange Look

MEMPHIS - Paula Deen was in Memphis visiting her high school home economics teacher Mrs. Orchid Burlapinski. Mrs. Burlapinski, who turned 91, on January 19, which also happens to be Paula's birthday as well, was shocked to see that her former pupi...

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California Explains Its New Tanning Bed Law

Funny story: California Explains Its New Tanning Bed Law

SACRAMENTO, California - The state of California, which has more yearly botox implants and liposuction procedures than any state in the nation has just implemented a new law. According to Assistant Attorney General Fairfax Sextontelli, the Califor...

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Shock: Katie Price "Becoming An Orange" Say Docs

Funny story: Shock: Katie Price "Becoming An Orange" Say Docs

In shock news today, doctors at the Institute For Fruit Related Human Crossover Sciences revealed that Katie Price has been diagnosed with Orangitus. The rare disease is thought to be triggered by an overuse of certain tanning agents. The main ing...

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Wan Van Man, Dan, An' Tan Man, Stan, Can Ban Gran's Fan Plan

Funny story: Wan Van Man, Dan, An' Tan Man, Stan, Can Ban Gran's Fan Plan

89 year-old grandmother of 13 Edna Hiscox has hit a problem with her planning application to erect a wind turbine in her garden in Duke Street, Peckham. Two local businessmen, Daniel Lovatt and Stanley Stitt, obtained a court injunction on Tuesday...

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Breaking news…

Trump's New Chief-Of-Staff Alec Baldwin

Alec Baldwin volunteers to be Trump’s new chief-of-staff.

"You're hired."
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