The two most brilliant minds in the entire world have just invented a brand new state-of-the-art iPhone. Bezos-Musk Inc., which is headquartered in Austin has just released their brand new Bezos-Musk Saturn 13 iPhone. The S-13 is the size of a…
According to new data, Mom is single-handedly keeping landline phones in existence. Research findings published by Johns Hopkins University have revealed that 100 percent of worldwide landline telephone usage is conducted by your mom. “Most o…
(Cupertino, California) Acknowledging a new world order due to the pandemic where society will never return to normal, Apple announced that the next generation iPhone – the iPhone 12 – will feature genitalia recognition to unlock the screen, rather t...
Born today, you are the sort who doesn't get your nose out of joint easily. You are cheerfully willing to accept whatever life sends your way, whether it's an also-ran finish in the sexiest-person-in-the-office contest or an also-ran finish to Matthe...
Los Angeles, CA - Max Headroom never imagined that the girl he once dated in college, a nerdy know-it-all named Siri, would go on to become the voice of Apple's iphone. We sat down with the '80's icon, who was dumbfounded by her success. "I j-j-j...
Medicine Park, OK - Fascinated by the whole new world opening up before her, local mother of two discovered emoji Thursday. Samantha Briggs, 54, is reportedly sending record amounts of texts and Facebook messages just so she could use the new means o...
To the Editor: I am bound by contract to not reveal my name, but I am the voice of Black Siri. Let me explain. I am a black woman who recorded my voice with Apple to be the black version of Siri. I am affirmative action in action. What black person wants to be told what to do by some white woman? White Siri can sound very know it all and bossy. My soothing black voice is your answer. When...
As the market for iPhones becomes saturated, Apple is attempting to tap into another niche market by rolling out reinforced iPhones and iPads for pets. Mike Bursa of team Apple gave a demo and talk at an unveiling party in Palo Alto, CA. Only a fe...
Chemist, and now inventor, Trevor Maxon is enabling people to accurately do on purpose what they always do by accident: butt dial. For our interview and demonstration this day, Maxon is wearing his Bluetooth enabled Boogie Pad Butt Dialer jeans.
In a press release held Thursday morning, FBI investigator Tracey McCall expressed her frustration at Apple's refusal to cooperate with the San Bernardino shooting investigation: "We know that they install mind-reading software in all of their iPh...
FRANKLIN, KY- After virtually no debate whatsoever, researchers at the Kentucky Institute of Technology have unanimously declared what they believe to be the "greatest selfie ever taken". The indefectible snapshot was initially discovered by resea...
New York, NY- Today, the new "CrackIt" app was officially launched to much fanfare, it's an app that provides users a "socially legitimate phone screen crack" on-demand. The app was bolstered by an impressive $2 million dollar seed funding round, led...
Electronics giant Apple chose New York City as a venue to introduce its new dominatrix robot, the iBitch, to consumers last week. Spokesbitch Ivana C. U. Hirt explained to reporters and tech gurus that the idea for the iBitch was actually spawned...
The cast of The Only Way Is Essex (or TOWIE for those that can't string a sentence together) are known for a few things, one of which is their permanent, all year round, unfading, tan. Previously, this has required a series of expensive trips to a...
A Chicago-area teenage girl, who, according to her parents, hasn't put down her smartphone in 4 years, recently put her device down and picked up a book. "I was shocked," said the girl's father, Neil Withers, about the seeing his daughter with a...
In the latest cool trend to hit the streets masses of young people are getting their I-phones installed in their heads where their brains used to be. The popularity and 24 hour a day usage of Apples extremely popular gadget has brought about this new...
The new iPhone 6 (or 7 or 8 or maybe 9 we're not sure no-one tells us much these days) came out the other day (yeah we know we're behind with the story, shut up) with people queuing for up to ten days to buy one. Knowing we couldn't afford one and la...
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